NowComment
2-Pane Combined
Comments:
Full Summaries Sorted

games - My first draft

1 additions to document , most recent about 4 years ago

When Why
Feb-04-20 Wording change

3 changes, most recent about 4 years ago

Show Changes
1
Paragraph 1 changes

Games are cool but something some parents think that they are bad because sometimes they can be violence because is violent and about shooting and killing like, for example, "Call of duty and fortnite they Duty and "Fortnite." These are games about shooting, but there not violence all are games that are not violent. All the games are not like that another .

Another example are games like NBA2k NBA 2K which is a game about basketball is , not about shouting this shooting. This is a game that people like playing because it is fun even me i . Even I love playing NBA2k i NBA 2K.

I started playing NBA2k NBA 2K when i I was 13, and even now, I play this game because it is fun to meet friends and play with the friends that I play now there . They are the same people that I meet when I started playing this game, and they are still my friends now, and we still play together. I play with my friends because I like the feeling of winning games and winning games makes me feel heroic and happy because for .

For me, playing videos games is like yoga for my mind some . Some parents do not like their kids to play these games, but some parents like their kids to play these games because they the kids be in the house, not in the streets because the . The streets are have too many violence why being much violence. Why be in the streets went they can be in there their houses .Playing playing video games because .

in the streets, kids and not only kids, young people go to the streets trying to survive, trying not to get kill ohh there . Oh, they're in the streets selling weed, drugs to feed their families us . We go home buy a ps4 PS4 and stats start playing video games because you don't want to lose your life in the streets.

Games are cool but some parents think that they are bad because sometimes they can be violent and about shooting and killing like, for example, "Call of Duty and "Fortnite." These are games about shooting, but there are games that are not violent. All the games are not like that.

Another example are games like NBA 2K which is a game about basketball, not about shooting. This is a game that people like playing because it is fun. Even I love playing NBA 2K.

I started playing NBA 2K when I was 13, and even now, I play this game because it is fun to meet friends and play with the friends that I play now. They are the same people that I meet when I started playing this game, and they are still my friends now, and we still play together. I play with my friends because I like the feeling of winning games and winning games makes me feel heroic and happy.

For me, playing videos games is like yoga for my mind. Some parents do not like their kids to play these games, but some parents like their kids to play these games because the kids be in the house, not in the streets. The streets have too much violence. Why be in the streets went they can be in their houses playing video games.

5
Paragraph 5 changes
in In the streets, kids and not only kids, young people go to the streets trying to survive, trying not to get killkilled. Oh, they're in the streets selling weed, drugs to feed their families. We go home buy a PS4 and start playing video games because you don't want to lose your life in the streets.

In the streets, kids and not only kids, young people go to the streets trying to survive, trying not to get killed. Oh, they're in the streets selling weed, drugs to feed their families. We go home buy a PS4 and start playing video games because you don't want to lose your life in the streets.

DMU Timestamp: January 21, 2020 02:52

Added February 04, 2020 at 3:43pm by Dawry Corcino (suggested by Paul Allison)
Title: Wording change

The text below is the previous wording for paragraph 1 (click to return there).

6
Paragraph 6 changes
Games are cool but something parents think that they are bad because sometimes they can be violence because is about shooting and killing like for example Call of duty and fortnite they are games about shooting but there not violence all the games are not like that another example like NBA2k is a game about basketball is not about shouting this is a game that people like playing because is fun even me i I love playing NBA2k i started playing NBA2k when i was 13 and even now I play this game because is fun to meet friends and play with the friends that I play now there are the same people that I meet when I started playing this game and they are still my friends now and we still play together. I play with my friends because I like the feeling of winning games and winning games makes me feel heroic and happy because for me playing videos games is like yoga for my mind some parents do not like their kids to play these games but some parents like their kids to play these games because they be in the house, not in the streets because the streets are too many violence why being in the streets went they can be in there houses. Playing video games because in the streets kids not only kids, young people go to the streets trying to survive not to get kill ohh there in the streets selling weed drugs to feed their families us go home buy a ps4 and stats playing video games because you don't want to lose your life in the streets.

Games are cool but something parents think that they are bad because sometimes they can be violence because is about shooting and killing like for example Call of duty and fortnite they are games about shooting but there not violence all the games are not like that another example like NBA2k is a game about basketball is not about shouting this is a game that people like playing because is fun even me I love playing NBA2k i started playing NBA2k when i was 13 and even now I play this game because is fun to meet friends and play with the friends that I play now there are the same people that I meet when I started playing this game and they are still my friends now and we still play together. I play with my friends because I like the feeling of winning games and winning games makes me feel heroic and happy because for me playing videos games is like yoga for my mind some parents do not like their kids to play these games but some parents like their kids to play these games because they be in the house, not in the streets because the streets are too many violence why being in the streets went they can be in there houses. Playing video games because in the streets kids not only kids, young people go to the streets trying to survive not to get kill ohh there in the streets selling weed drugs to feed their families us go home buy a ps4 and stats playing video games because you don't want to lose your life in the streets.

DMU Timestamp: February 03, 2020 23:30





Image
0 comments, 0 areas
add area
add comment
change display
Video
add comment

Quickstart: Commenting and Sharing

How to Comment
  • Click icons on the left to see existing comments.
  • Desktop/Laptop: double-click any text, highlight a section of an image, or add a comment while a video is playing to start a new conversation.
    Tablet/Phone: single click then click on the "Start One" link (look right or below).
  • Click "Reply" on a comment to join the conversation.
How to Share Documents
  1. "Upload" a new document.
  2. "Invite" others to it.

Logging in, please wait... Blue_on_grey_spinner