Comments by Myles Anderson Most recent public comments by Myles Anderson https://nowcomment.com/users/2835 Also try to be more concise https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18825 https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18825 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:08:59 -0400 You don't need this much explanation of the calculation. remember you are trying to address an educated reader who would know how to do this and not want to read about it https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18810 https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18810 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:01:19 -0400 You also essentially repeated the first half of the sentence twice. https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18791 https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18791 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 14:57:51 -0400 You use the first person a lot. It is good for making stronger sentences, but you should be careful about over using it. https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18775 https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18775 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:08:59 -0400 agreed https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18744 https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18744 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 14:52:33 -0400 Change "in our calculations" to something such as "from earlier calculations" to remove the first person https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18728 https://nowcomment.com/documents/4543?scroll_to=18728 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 14:50:32 -0400