Comments by Courtney Joyner Most recent public comments by Courtney Joyner https://nowcomment.com/users/86692 HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY WILLIAM https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150340 https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150340 Wed, 21 Oct 2020 12:24:04 -0400 Your main topic need to be more clear. I am assuming that it is how the 9/11 attacks effected America, but including it would be easier for readers to understand. Great topic willy!:))))) https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150331 https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150331 Wed, 21 Oct 2020 12:22:46 -0400 Maybe add a sentence before this to pull readers in. For example... On September 11th, 2001 a national catastrophe happened that altered some aspects of life forever. https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150306 https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150306 Wed, 21 Oct 2020 12:21:10 -0400 I like how you included these organization names! Good job! https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150294 https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150294 Wed, 21 Oct 2020 12:19:25 -0400 you need a thesis statement to layout and guide what your essay will be about. I wound not put questions there instead maybe put something like... "Our country has been greatly effected by terrorist attacks by the increase of security,___, and ___ https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150289 https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150289 Wed, 21 Oct 2020 12:18:54 -0400 These two sentences provide great examples! try combining them in the same style. https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150267 https://nowcomment.com/documents/237309?scroll_to=2150267 Wed, 21 Oct 2020 12:15:51 -0400 this is not very clear first you talk about tubing then swimming and then you talk about fishing by yourself. https://nowcomment.com/documents/223148?scroll_to=2025593 https://nowcomment.com/documents/223148?scroll_to=2025593 Wed, 09 Sep 2020 13:44:01 -0400 A terrible swimmer is not a full sentence https://nowcomment.com/documents/223148?scroll_to=2025584 https://nowcomment.com/documents/223148?scroll_to=2025584 Wed, 09 Sep 2020 13:42:54 -0400 great description in the introduction paragraph https://nowcomment.com/documents/223148?scroll_to=2025481 https://nowcomment.com/documents/223148?scroll_to=2025481 Wed, 09 Sep 2020 13:09:45 -0400 instead of saying 8 or ten give a solid age. https://nowcomment.com/documents/223148?scroll_to=2025476 https://nowcomment.com/documents/223148?scroll_to=2025476 Wed, 09 Sep 2020 13:09:13 -0400