NowComment
2-Pane Combined
Comments:
Full Summaries Sorted

12 Angry Pigs - Original Ten Minute Play

21 12 Angry Pigs - Original Ten Minute Play

32 Spoof of "Twelve Angry Men"

3 By Wade Bradford

4 This play may be used free of charge for educational purposes and for amateur theater productions.

5 Setting: A table and twelve chairs are all that is needed to establish the jury's room.

16 The pigs walk to a table. They walk around, shy and uncomfortable at first. 1

37 PIG #1: (Fanning himself.) 3 Boy, I tell you, it’s hot.

28 PIG #2: I thought it was hot in the courtroom, but this room is like an oven.

29 PIG #3: Do I smell bacon? 1 Oh wait – that’s just me.

10 PIG #4: So what are we supposed to do?

211 PIG #5: Weren’t you listening to the judge? 2 We vote.

12 PIG #4: Vote?

213 PIG #5: We decide whether or not that Wolf is guilty or not guilty.

814 PIG #6: He looks guilty to me.

15 PIG #7: Me too.

316 PIG #8: What do you mean he looks guilty?

317 PIG #9: Did you see those teeth?

818 PIG #10: Those wolves have sharp teeth.

619 PIG #11: The better to gobble you up! 5 Right? Am I right?

320 PIG #12: But the wolf isn’t on trial for biting someone. 1 The trial is about him blowing down those two houses.

121 PIG #4: I thought there were three houses.

22 PIG #6: Only two houses got knocked down.

23 PIG #5: (To #4) Don’t you listen?

524 PIG #3: He huffed and puffed and blew down the houses of those innocent little pigs.

1725 PIG #11: Those poor swine.

26 PIG #6: Why those two little pigs are lucky to be alive!

327 PIG #10: I tell you, those wolves are dangerous!

28 PIG #2: I wish it wasn’t so hot in here. Isn’t there a fan or something?

29 PIG #7: We should get the Big Bad Wolf in here to huff and puff and blow us a cool breeze! (The other pigs laugh.)

30 PIG #1: All right, let’s get down to business. Now, since I am the foreman—

31 PIG #7: Don’t you mean forepig?

32 PIG #4: What’s a foreman?

33 PIG #1: It means that I am the spokesperson of the jury here. When we go back into court, I’ll be the one doing the talking.

34 PIG #3: So that makes you the head hog?

435 PIG #1: No, but I do get to read the verdict.

36 PIG #4: Oh. What’s a verdict?

37 PIG #1: It’s the decision that we make as a jury.

38 PIG #4: Oh. What’s a jury?

39 PIG #5: (Not happy being next to #4) Can I trade seats with somebody?

40 PIG #12: Can we just get on with this?

141 PIG #1: Very well. We have heard the trial. Now we need to determine whether the Big Bad Wolf is guilty or not guilty. 1

42 PIG #8: I don’t think we should call him “big bad.” He hasn’t been convicted yet.

43 PIG #1: All right, just “wolf” then.

44 PIG #5: So let’s vote.

145 PIG #1: All those who believe the wolf is guilty say “oink.”

46 ALL EXCEPT #8: OINK!

47 PIG #1: Anyone else?

48 PIG #8: Not oinking.

49 PIG #7: What’s that?

50 PIG #8: I’m not oinking because I’m voting not guilty.

51 Everyone else groans.

52 PIG #3: You think that Big Bad Wolf is innocent?

253 PIG #8: Well, I haven’t made up my mind yet. There have been so many stories about wolves doing terrible things. 2 Maybe we’ve paid more attention to those fairy tales, and not enough attention to the evidence?

54 PIG #4: What’s evidence?

55 PIG #5: Did you sleep through the trial? Evidence is the stuff that proves whether or not somebody is guilty!

56 PIG #8: And there should be enough evidence to convince us all of the wolf’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

57 PIG #3: There’s plenty of evidence!

58 PIG #8: Well, I’d like to hear what all of you think.

59 PIG #1: Okay, that sounds fine. Let’s take turns and explain to our fellow pig why we think the wolf is guilty. Why don’t you go first?

960 PIG #2: Me? Oh, well, I guess I just think he looks awful scary. 4 I can just picture him huffing and puffing and blowing down those houses. 2

61 PIG #8: But you didn’t see him do it.

62 PIG #3: But you didn’t see him not do it.

63 PIG #9: (Standing up for #8) But you didn’t see him not not do it.

1764 PIG #3: Huh? Look, the facts of the case are this: (Looks at notes.) These three little pigs, just like you and me, they move away from home. 4 They were brothers, so they decided to build their houses nearby. One pig built his house out of straw. 1 The other built his house out of sticks, and the other brother built his house out of brick. 2 And then what happens? This wolf comes along, pretending to be selling cookies or something, and when the pig won’t open up the door – WHOOSH! 1 Down goes the house of straw. The little pig runs to his brother’s house made out of sticks. The wolf follows and WHOOSH – down goes house number two! Clear case of destruction of property. And it’s a good thing their brother pig made a house out of bricks, because it was strong enough to protect them from being eaten up by that evil wolf! 1

65 PIG #1: Thank you for sharing. (To #4) What about you?

66 PIG #4: Me? Oh I guess since everyone else thinks he’s guilty he must be.

67 PIG #8: You shouldn’t just agree with someone just because that’s what a person wants.

68 PIG #4: Hey, you’re right. I agree with you!

69 PIG #3: I don’t want you to agree with him.

70 PIG #4: Okay.

71 PIG #5: I believe the wolf is guilty because there was an eye witness. A local village boy saw the whole crime take place. And since I’m sure he wouldn’t lie, I am certain that the wolf must be guilty.

172 (Little Boy Blue skips across the stage.)

73 PIG #6: Theres the little fella now!

274 BOY: Hi Piggies! 1 I’m off to guard my flock of sheep! 1

75 PIG #7: What a nice young man. That’s why I voted to convict that big bad wolf!

76 PIG #12: Me too. Everything points to the wolf as a criminal. Who else could have done it?

77 PIG #9: I am afraid that seems to be the only explanation, unless your snout smells something we don’t.

1378 PIG #10: Besides, he’s a wolf. If he’s not guilty of this crime, I’m sure he’s guilty of something. 6

79 PIG #9: You shouldn’t say that. It’s not nice.

80 PIG #11: Look, nice or not, the facts clearly show that our wolf friend is guilty. But he sure tried to act all innocent.

81 PIG #3: Yeah, did you see him wearing that sheep’s clothing during the trial? Well, I saw right through that!

182 PIG #12: Well, I thought Little Boy Blue’s testimony was convincing. 1 But more than anything, I just didn’t trust that wolf. He claimed that he was a Wolf Scout, selling Wolf Scout Cookies door to door. But there’s no such thing as a Wolf Scout!

83 PIG #9: Oh but there is. There are cub scouts and wolf scouts and trout scouts, and all sorts of scouts. And they are nice sorts of folks. Say, maybe I voted guilty too quickly.

84 PIG #3: What do you mean?! (To #8: ) Look “Mr. No Oink,”, I want to know why you voted not guilty. You’re keeping us cooped up in here like chickens, when we should be at home, rolling around in mud like pigs!

85 PIG #7: And if the wolf didn’t demolish those houses, then who did?

86 PIG #8: I’ve been wondering about that myself. Why would a wolf want to knock down a pig’s house to begin with?

87 PIG #12: Well, he wanted to eat.

88 PIG #11: So he blew the house down so that he could gobble up the first little pig.

89 PIG #8: But why wouldn’t he just wait for the pig to leave his straw house and then grab him? Why spend all of that energy blowing down the house?

90 PIG #5: He couldn’t wait. He was too hungry.

91 PIG #8: If he was too hungry, then why didn’t he just eat the cookies he was selling?

92 PIG #10: Because wolves don’t eat cookies!

93 PIG #4: Yeah!

94 PIG #10: they eat pork chops!

95 PIG #4: Yeah!

596 PIG #10: And ham hocks!

97 PIG #4: Yeah!

98 PIG #10: (To #4: ) And stop agreeing with everything I say.

199 PIG #4: Yeah!

100 PIG #2: All this talk about food is making me hungry.

101 PIG #7: Me too!

102 PIG #1: I wish we had some lunch or something.

1103 BOY: (Entering, carrying a bucket.) Yoohoo! Piggies! It’s chow time! Want some pig slop? 1

104 PIGS: Yes please!

105 BOY: Come and get it!

106 The pigs run up to the boy. Then, the boy shows them that the bucket is empty.

4107 BOY: Ha ha! I was just joking. 1 It’s empty.

108 PIG #3: Ha, well, you sure fooled us, young man.

2109 PIG #1: Now run along, Little Boy Blue. 1 We pigs have work to do.

110 PIG #8: Now as I was saying, I don’t think the wolf huffed and puffed at all.

111 PIG #3: Then how did the house fall down?

4112 PIG #8: Think about it. Of the three little pigs, only one knew how to build houses well. And that little pig built his house out of brick. The houses of straw and sticks were so frail they could have fallen down when the wolf politely knocked on the door. 1

7113 PIG #3: Politely knocked?! 1 Do you believe this swine? 2

114 PIG #8: I’m just saying it’s possible. And since when do wolves blow air with the force of a hurricane?

115 PIG #9: That’s a very good point. I watched a documentary on wolves, and it didn’t mention a thing about huffing or puffing.

116 PIG #8: Which reminds me of something else the defense forgot to mention.

117 PIG #12: What’s that?

118 PIG #8: (Calls to a Bailiff, who could be dressed as a duck or some other animal.) Oh Bailiff, we’d like to examine a piece of evidence.

119 BAILIFF: Which one?

120 PIG #8: The wolf’s pack, please.

121 BAILIFF: Just a moment.

122 PIG #8: Thank you, Bailiff.

123 PIG #4: What’s a bailiff?

124 PIG #8: He’s like a policeman for the courtroom. Throughout the trial process, he keeps things in order.

125 PIG #7: Order? I’d like to order a large extra cheese pizza. Hold the pepperoni.

126 PIG #5: Not that kind of order!

127 PIG #2: Gee, I’m awful hungry.

128 The Boy enters, carrying a pizza box.

129 BOY: Free cheese pizza! Fresh from the oven! Absolutely delicious! Who wants a slice?

130 PIGS: Me! Me! I do! I do!

1131 BOY: Ha, ha! Fooled you again!

132 PIG #2: Say, that’s not very nice.

133 PIG #6: Little Boy Blue, that joke is not funny anymore.

134 PIG #1: We’re trying to work here.

135 The boy leaves. The bailiff enters.

136 BAILIFF: Here’s the wolf’s pack. (Hands the pigs the pack.)

137 PIG #8: Let’s see. (Takes out items from the pack.) Here are the wolf scout cookies. And his wolf scout badge.

138 PIG #3: That doesn’t prove anything.

139 PIG #8: What about this? (Pulls out an asthma device.)

140 PIG#3: So what?

1141 PIG #8: How could the so-called Big Bad Wolf huff and puff when he has asthma?!

142 Everyone gasps at this realization.

143 PIG #2: Oh my goodness.

144 PIG #3: So he’s got asthma medicine in his wolf pack.

7145 PIG #10: He probably stole it. 2 Wolves will do that.

146 PIG #9: Not all wolves are like that and you know it. I think we should have another vote.

147 PIG #1: Very well. Let’s go around the table. All those who think the defendant is guilty say oink. I’ll go first. I say “oink.”

148 PIG #2: Uh, oink.

149 PIG #3: Oink!

150 PIG #4: Not oinking.

151 PIG #5: Oh, what do you know? I still say “oink!”

152 PIG #6: Not oinking.

153 PIG #7: Oink.

154 PIG #8: Not oinking.

155 PIG #9: Not oinking.

156 PIG #10: Oink.

157 PIG #11: Oink.

158 PIG #12: Not oinking.

159 PIG #1: That’s seven oinks, and five not oinking.

23160 PIG #3: You piggies call yourself a jury? 1 You wanna let that Big Bad Wolf go free? 1 What’s with you? (He points to the other pigs.) This little piggy is forgetful. 1 And this little piggy is regretful. 1 This little piggy’s brain went to the market. 2 And this little piggy should have stayed home. And this little piggy (points to Pig #8)… This little piggy went went wee-wee-wee all over the justice system! 5

161 PIG #8: But there’s reasonable doubt. We don’t have enough evidence—

2162 PIG #3: There’s a witness. The boy saw everything. 1 And he heard that Big Bad Wolf say, “Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in. 1 Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!” What more proof do you need to convict this canine? There was a reliable witness!

1163 Little Boy Blue enters with the bucket again.

2164 BOY: Pig slop! 1 Pizza! Pig slop and pizza! Come and get it!

165 PIG #3: Get out of here, kid we know you’re trying to trick us!

166 He and the other pigs gasp at this realization.

167 PIG #8: I guess that means your witness isn’t so reliable.

168 PIG #1: I’m changing my vote to not guilty.

169 PIG #2: Me too. That kid is a liar!

170 PIG #5: Looks like there’s reasonable doubt. I change my vote too.

171 PIG #12: Maybe we were wrong about this wolf.

172 PIG #10: I knew he was innocent all along.

173 PIG #3: Are you serious?

174 PIG #1: Raise your hand if you vote not guilty.

175 Everyone but #3 raises their hand.

176 PIG #1: Any votes for guilty?

177 PIG #3: Oink! I know I’m right and you’ll never change my mind.

178 PIG #7: We may have to declare a hung jury.

179 PIG #5: What’s a hung jury?

1180 PIG #4: When a jury is unable or unwilling to come to a unanimous decision resulting in a mistrial. I thought everyone knew that.

181 PIG #5: Wow.

182 PIG #3: Fine, then it’s a mistrial.

183 PIG #8: (To #3) We aren’t giving up. Let’s keep talking. Convince us.

184 PIG #3: He’s guilty.

185 PIG #8: NO he’s not.

186 PIG #3: Yes he is.

187 PIG #8: No he’s not.

188 PIG #3: Yes he is.

189 PIG #8: Isn’t.

190 PIG #3: Is!

191 PIG #8: Prove it!

5192 PIG #3: Why can’t you pigs see things the way I do?! The facts are plain! Charlotte is guilty! 3

4193 PIG #2: Charlotte? 3 Who’s Charlotte?

2194 PIG #3: Uh, a spider – I mean a wolf! I’m talking about the big bad wolf! 1

1195 PIG #8: But that’s not what you said. You said Charlotte. 1 Who is she?

42196 PIG #3: (Breaking down.) 1 She was a spider named Charlotte. 11 And she was my best friend!!! But then she broke my heart and left me. 4 And I promised myself I’d never trust another non-pig again. 7 (He cries into his hands.) I vote not guilty! 2

1197 PIG #8: (To #1) Forepig, I think we’re ready.

4198 The bailiff brings in the wolf. 1 The jury of pigs stands and forms two lines.

199 JUDGE: Have you reached a verdict?

200 PIG #1: We have your honor.

201 JUDGE: And what is it?

202 PIG #1: We the jury find the defendant not guilty.

203 JUDGE: Very well. Bailiff, you may release the defendant.

204 The wolf approaches the jury.

205 WOLF: Thank you so much. I didn’t think anyone would believe me.

206 PIG #8: Well, we were just doing our job. I’m sure it’s not always easy when people think you’re a big bad wolf.

7207 Little Red Riding Hood rushes in. 4 She points at the wolf.

16208 LITTLE RED: Police! 4 Arrest that Big Bad Wolf! 5

209 WOLF: Here we go again.

210 The end.

DMU Timestamp: February 06, 2019 23:03





Image
0 comments, 0 areas
add area
add comment
change display
Video
add comment

Quickstart: Commenting and Sharing

How to Comment
  • Click icons on the left to see existing comments.
  • Desktop/Laptop: double-click any text, highlight a section of an image, or add a comment while a video is playing to start a new conversation.
    Tablet/Phone: single click then click on the "Start One" link (look right or below).
  • Click "Reply" on a comment to join the conversation.
How to Share Documents
  1. "Upload" a new document.
  2. "Invite" others to it.

Logging in, please wait... Blue_on_grey_spinner