Maggie's Diary
1 additions to document , most recent over 4 years ago
| When | Why |
|---|---|
| Dec-03-19 | Wording change |
11 changes, most recent over 4 years ago
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Dear Diary:
Paragraph 2 changes
Today was a great day.
When I woke up, everything looked like a normal day but I never imagined that my day had another end.
When I left my room there was a smell from the kitchen that appealed to me. Mama was cooking my sister's favorite food. I helped her in what she needed help. Then we had breakfast. Mama told me to get ready today to go to church.
When we were in church, Mom looked different, she was very thoughtful, I didn't know what would happen at that time. Mama starts to explain the meanings of meaning that have the quilt and why it is important to for her. I did not have a notion about the decision she took.
But my heart started beating faster , worried that because I feel excited because Mama would give the quilt to my sister. Mama started start to discuss the quilt with my sister .Suddenly what happened next, but suddenly happened that I can not believe .that Mama hugged is hug me!. For the moment my heart stopped stop beating and I took a deep breath. I was in shock when and Mama told me that the quilt had have to belong to a special, humble and responsible person , and this person was me.
This impacted impact my whole life .For the for first time , Mama demonstrated to me that she knows know of me , that I’m exist. At that the moment I had have a lot of questions, and also I thought think that she was joking with me. But that was the reality . She was speaking the truth. I felt was not she speak with the true.
I feel happy because Mama recognized recognize that I’m the unique person that cares for care of her. Even though I did feel sad for my sister because I thought think she was the favorite person of Mama. I know this is a special tradition for Mama, but I think this is something uncomfortable for the other siblings. I like that my sister was in agreement an agree with the decision of Mama and also she gave gives me some advice she never gave before.
I believe that throught this experience I learned many things .We like we need to know the person first before we that judge their actions or how the person looks.
Today was a great day.
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
Today was a great day.
When I woke up, everything looked like a normal day but I never imagined that my day had another end.
When I left my room there was a smell from the kitchen that appealed to me. Mama was cooking my sister's favorite food. I helped her in what she needed help. Then we had breakfast. Mama told me to get ready today to go to church.
When we were in church, Mom looked different, she was very thoughtful, I didn't know what would happen at that time. Mama starts to explain the meaning that have the quilt and why is important for her. I did not have a notion about the decision she took.
But my heart started beating faster because I feel excited because Mama would give the quilt to my sister. Mama start to discuss with my sister but suddenly happened that I can not believe that Mama is hug me. For the moment my heart stop beating and took a deep breath. I was in shock and Mama told me that the quilt have to belong to a special, humble and responsible person and this person was me.
This impact my whole life for first time Mama demonstrated me that she know of me that I’m exist. At the moment I have a lot of questions, and also I think that she was joking with me. But the reality was not she speak with the true.
I feel happy because Mama recognize that I’m the unique person that care of her. Even though I feel sad for my sister because I think she was the favorite person of Mama. I know this is a special tradition for Mama, but I think this is something uncomfortable for the other siblings. I like that my sister was an agree with the decision of Mama and also she gives me some advice she never gave before.
I believe that this experience I learned many things like we need to know the person first that judge their actions or how the person looks.
When I woke up, everything looked like a normal day but I never imagined that my day had another end.
When I left my room there was a smell from the kitchen that appealed to me. Mama was cooking my sister's favorite food. I helped her in what she needed help. Then we had breakfast. Mama told me to get ready today to go to church.
When we were in church, Mom looked different, she was very thoughtful, I didn't know what would happen at that time. Mama starts to explain the meaning that have the quilt and why is important for her. I did not have a notion about the decision she took.
But my heart started beating faster because I feel excited because Mama would give the quilt to my sister. Mama start to discuss with my sister but suddenly happened that I can not believe that Mama is hug me. For the moment my heart stop beating and took a deep breath. I was in shock and Mama told me that the quilt have to belong to a special, humble and responsible person and this person was me.
This impact my whole life for first time Mama demonstrated me that she know of me that I’m exist. At the moment I have a lot of questions, and also I think that she was joking with me. But the reality was not she speak with the true.
I feel happy because Mama recognize that I’m the unique person that care of her. Even though I feel sad for my sister because I think she was the favorite person of Mama. I know this is a special tradition for Mama, but I think this is something uncomfortable for the other siblings. I like that my sister was an agree with the decision of Mama and also she gives me some advice she never gave before.
I don’t think that her sister was happy of what, the mother decided, because she wanted the quilt for herself.Maybe Dee is acting that she is happy for her sister, but the from the inside she is envy, so you can say that. " I like that my sister show that she agree with the decision of Mama"
I believe that this experience I learned many things like we need to know the person first that judge their actions or how the person looks.
Added December 03, 2019 at 10:47am
by Celines Zamora
(suggested by Paul Allison)
Title: Wording change
The text below is the previous wording for paragraph 2 (click to return there).
Paragraph 10 changes
Today was a great day.
When I woke up, everything looked like a normal day but I never imagined that my day had another end.
When I left my room there was a smell from the kitchen that appealed to me.
Mama was cooking my sister's favorite food.
I helped her in what she needed help.
Then we had breakfast.
Mama told me to get ready today to go to church.
When we were in church, Mom looked different, she was very thoughtful, I didn't know what would happen at that time.
Mama starts to explain the meanings of the quilt and why it is important to her.
I did not have a notion about the decision she took.
But my heart started beating faster, worried that Mama would give the quilt to my sister.
Mama started to discuss the quilt with my sister.
Suddenly what happened next, I can not believe.
Mama hugged me!
For the moment my heart stopped beating and I took a deep breath.
I was in shock when Mama told me that the quilt had to belong to a special, humble and responsible person, and this person was me.
This impacted my whole life.
For the first time, Mama demonstrated to me that she knows of me, that I’m exist.
At that moment I had a lot of questions, and also I thought that she was joking with me.
But that was reality.
She was speaking the truth.
I felt happy because Mama recognized that I’m the unique person that cares for her.
I did feel sad for my sister because I thought she was the favorite person of Mama.
I know this is a special tradition for Mama, but I think this is something uncomfortable for the other siblings.
I like that my sister was in agreement with the decision of Mama and also she gave me some advice she never gave before.
I believe that throught this experience I learned many things.
We need to know the person first before we judge their actions or how the person looks.
When I woke up, everything looked like a normal day but I never imagined that my day had another end.
Reason: I feel like you are predicting something that has not happened. How would you know that the day was going to happen in a certain way for you to say that they day had another end? . Please explain.
When I left my room there was a smell from the kitchen that appealed to me.
Reason: You can replace this world by saying "called my attention"
Mama starts to explain the meaning that have the quilt and why is important for her.
Reason: "had"
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
Mama starts to explain the meaning that have meanings of the quilt and why it is important for to her.
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
But my heart started beating faster because I feel excited because , worried that Mama would give the quilt to my sister.
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
Mama start started to discuss the quilt with my sister but suddenly happened that . Suddenly what happened next, I can not believe that . Mama is hug hugged me.!
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I was in shock and when Mama told me that the quilt have had to belong to a special, humble and responsible person, and this person was me.
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
This impact impacted my whole life for . For the first time, Mama demonstrated to me that she know knows of me, that I’m exist.
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
At the that moment I have had a lot of questions, and also I think thought that she was joking with me.
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I feel felt happy because Mama recognize recognized that I’m the unique person that care of cares for her.
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I like that my sister was an agree in agreement with the decision of Mama and also she gives gave me some advice she never gave before.
I believe that this experience I learned many things like learned that we need first to know the person first that judge their actions or and not judge because how the person looks like.
Reason: because I think in my perspective that i can know someone from its actions
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I believe that throught this experience I learned many things like we . We need to know the person first that before we judge their actions or how the person looks.
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