Document: Invite

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Thesis Statements

14 additions to document , most recent about 4 years ago

When	Why
Mar-31-20	Parker S's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Charlotte's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Mary Douglas's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Parker V's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Finny's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Addison's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Anderson's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Christopher's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Gill's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Celia's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Julia's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Ainsley's Thesis
Mar-31-20	Jack's Thesis
Apr-02-20	Bennett's Thesis

1 changes, most recent about 4 years ago

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In The Odyssey gods rule over mortals that is very similar to how the modern day world works governments rule of citizens, but the greek gods had the power of censorshipBelow you will find the draft thesis statements written by your classmates for their research papers. Choose three people who were NOT in your small group to comment on. The quality of your comment matters -- don't just point out grammatical errors. Think deeply to better understand the claim and respond in a way that helps your classmate clarify themselves.

Below you will find the draft thesis statements written by your classmates for their research papers. Choose three people who were NOT in your small group to comment on. The quality of your comment matters -- don't just point out grammatical errors. Think deeply to better understand the claim and respond in a way that helps your classmate clarify themselves.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

In The Odyssey gods rule over mortals that is very similar to how the modern day world works governments rule of citizens, but the greek gods had the power of censorship.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

In the Odyssey natural beauty is cherished throughout the Gods, landfills are the only way we can dispose of trash which defies the Greek connection with nature.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

In The Odyssey, when Odysseus leaves Penelope to go fight in the trojan war, this can represent women in everyday life who are left by their husbands who fight in the army.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

When the suitors try to steal Odysseus’s power and wife Odysseus steps in and kills the suitors for betraying him.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

The actual microwaves used in microwaves are related to Poseidon's “waves of anger” in The Odyssey, there is an easy fix for both.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

In The Odyssey, Ocean is home to Posideon, one of the most powerful gods whose home is destroyed by Odysseus, and the ocean is home to many animals that homes are destroyed by pollution.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

The United States Government is a nearly unbeatable superpower that is related to the ancient greek gods in the story of the Odyssey by Homer.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

Whether good or bad, having drones in The Odyssey by Homer would have completely changed the layout of the story because drones would have provided the characters in the Odyssey with a new technology that can be used in a variety of ways.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

Molly was used in The Odyssey to help people; however, in the U.S., drugs similar to molly can be very addicting and harmful to the human body.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

In The Odyssey, a more established system of law would have helped Odysseus’s crew get home safely and prevented many other challenges.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

Although social media and The Odyssey exist at very different times, you can see many effects in The Odyssey that mirror those that come with social media.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

In Ancient Greece a woman's job was to marry, have children, and take care of the household. In 2020 a woman can date, vote, and choose what they want to do with their life. The status of a woman's capability and lifestyle has gone from only having kids and doing what you are told, to “No woman can call herself free who does not control her own daughter.”

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

If modern day nuclear weapons existed in the times of The Odyssey, the storyline would be completely different because of the threat of a mass destructive weapon.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

The CIA is like the Greek gods because they both monitor the people.

DMU Timestamp: March 26, 2020 18:18

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Apr 2

Master Jack O'Donnell Master Jack O'Donnell (Apr 02 2020 10:21AM) : 10/10

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:07PM) : Feedback more

You have two complete thoughts here. “In The Odyssey, gods rule over mortals. That is…..” The thesis is diffuse…what exactly are you arguing? That the Greek gods have the power of censorship and the US government doesn’t?

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Apr 2

Lord Anderson Beavor Lord Anderson Beavor (Apr 02 2020 10:21AM) : How do you propose that we dispose of trash so that we do not defile the gods value of natural beauty?

Apr 2

Addison Scott Addison Scott (Apr 02 2020 10:22AM) : Feedback more

How are beauty and trash similar?

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:10PM) : Feedback more

I think you are overcomplicating this. What exactly do you want to prove? That based on your reading of The Odyssey that you know the gods would hate landfills? It that’s it, just say that!

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Apr 2

Charlotte Allem Charlotte Allem (Apr 02 2020 10:25AM) : Whats your argument

Apr 2

Student Ainsley Thomas Student Ainsley Thomas (Apr 02 2020 10:27AM) : feedback more

What is the argument here?

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:12PM) : Feedback more

MD — this is actually a really good start. I think you are saying that the families of many US soldiers that are deployed to Afghanistan, Iraq or elsewhere experience the same thing that Penelope experienced. Right?

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Apr 2

Celia Gilliland Celia Gilliland (Apr 02 2020 10:22AM) : What are you arguing? How is it relating to a modern day issue?

Apr 2

Gill Huffard Gill Huffard (Apr 02 2020 10:23AM) : Feedback more

This needs to be an argument

Apr 2

Superviser Parker Vedell Superviser Parker Vedell (Apr 02 2020 10:25AM) : this is terrible

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:04PM) : No! more

Parker….stop! You need to fine tune this. I think that you did some reading on political assassinations. That is a really compelling idea and I wonder how it fits with the Odyssey. Don’t you think Odysseus would have liked to have assassinated Poseidon? And the suitors were DEFINITELY planning to assassinate Odysseus….can you make some comparisons there?

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Apr 2

Julia Hunt Julia Hunt (Apr 02 2020 10:23AM) : feedback more

I think that you make a really interesting and creative connection between microwaves and Poseidon’s “waves of anger.”You take two things that are completely different and from different time periods, and you find a way to connect them that is very convincing.

Apr 2

Lord Anderson Beavor Lord Anderson Beavor (Apr 02 2020 10:25AM) : What is your argument?

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:13PM) : Feedback more

I can’t wait to hear more about this! Be careful with your punctuation…..“there is an easy fix for both” is a sentence of its very own without a conjunction.

Apr 16

Superviser Parker Vedell Superviser Parker Vedell (Apr 16 2020 10:44AM) : what is the easy fix?

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Apr 2

Charlotte Allem Charlotte Allem (Apr 02 2020 10:22AM) : give a specific example of how his home is destroyed

Apr 2

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 02 2020 10:22AM) : Feedback more

I wonder if you try to argue a little more here. What’s your claim? Is it about how Poseidon would be angry about pollution?

Apr 2

Lord Anderson Beavor Lord Anderson Beavor (Apr 02 2020 10:24AM) : How does Odysseus destroy the ocean?

Apr 2

Mary Douglas Kollme Mary Douglas Kollme (Apr 02 2020 10:25AM) : Feedback more

How is his home destroyed

Apr 2

Julia Hunt Julia Hunt (Apr 02 2020 10:28AM) : Feedback more

you have a really good argument, but you might want include something about how it was destroyed

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:14PM) : Feedback more

So you state two things that are facts. The ocean is Poseidon’s home. And the ocean is home to animals. But what is your claim…what are you arguing?

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Apr 2

Dr. Christopher Fielden Dr. Christopher Fielden (Apr 02 2020 10:23AM) : Fielden Comment more

The comparison is indubitably strong. It sets up the rest of your story nicely; however, adding a couple broad reasonings to prove the first part of your thesis would juice it up.

Apr 2

Charlotte Allem Charlotte Allem (Apr 02 2020 10:29AM) : are you arguing about how odysseus beat many of the gods.

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:15PM) : Feedback more

I think you are saying that the US is a superpower and so are the gods. Be really clear.

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Apr 2

Lord Anderson Beavor Lord Anderson Beavor (Apr 02 2020 10:22AM) : Talk about how they would have changed the layout of the story...

Apr 2

Master Jack O'Donnell Master Jack O'Donnell (Apr 02 2020 10:22AM) : Big brain

Apr 2

Bennett Coker Bennett Coker (Apr 02 2020 10:23AM) : meh more

Fielden you are just stating facts no armgument.

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:18PM) : Feedback more

Christopher, think about Bennett’s comment…yes drones would have helped. But maybe the case you are making is that if they had this technology there would have not really been much of a story because it would have given him a significant advantage. Think argument. If that thesis is your argument, what would someone argue against you? If no one can argue against you, then you need to ramp up your claim.

Apr 2

Superviser Parker Vedell Superviser Parker Vedell (Apr 02 2020 10:24AM) : You should give examples of how the drones can be used

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Apr 2

Lord Anderson Beavor Lord Anderson Beavor (Apr 02 2020 10:23AM) : How can you turn this into an argument?

Apr 2

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 02 2020 10:24AM) : Feedback more

You need to be really clear here about what “molly” is, as that is really the slang name for it. There is no evidence that “molly” is specifically used in The Odyssey so you want to be sure to describe what “molly” DOES….as you have evidence for something that has the same impact as “molly” being used in the text.

Apr 2

Addison Scott Addison Scott (Apr 02 2020 10:25AM) : feedback more

how was molly used in the odyssey?

Apr 2

Student Ainsley Thomas Student Ainsley Thomas (Apr 02 2020 10:26AM) : feedback more

This sounds more like a statement. Some people can use Molly to help themselves by the way, like if they are trying to get out of their head.

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Apr 2

Lord Anderson Beavor Lord Anderson Beavor (Apr 02 2020 10:22AM) : Agreed

Apr 2

Gill Huffard Gill Huffard (Apr 02 2020 10:25AM) : Feedback more

How?

Apr 2

Julia Hunt Julia Hunt (Apr 02 2020 10:26AM) : Feedback more

You have a really strong and convincing argument for your connection

Apr 2

Addison Scott Addison Scott (Apr 02 2020 10:29AM) : feedback more

very good argument

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:19PM) : Feedback more

Very strong and clear. Can’t wait to hear your evidence.

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Apr 2

Chef Finny Roach Chef Finny Roach (Apr 02 2020 10:25AM) : Feedback more

The Odyssey should be italicized. Maybe change “you can see” into “the reader sees” it’s more aggressive. Also maybe add modern day social media platforms because it gives it a little bit of zest. But you can very clearly see the argument in your thesis. Bravo! #good

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:23PM) : feedback more

I mean, could Finny be any more awesome? He gives you great feedback (get that “you” out of there) and think about the word “effect”…..could you get more specific. I cannot wait to read this!

Apr 2

Superviser Parker Vedell Superviser Parker Vedell (Apr 02 2020 10:26AM) : You might want to give some examples

Apr 2

Celia Gilliland Celia Gilliland (Apr 02 2020 10:28AM) : This is really good!

Apr 2

Charlotte Allem Charlotte Allem (Apr 02 2020 10:28AM) : this is good

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Apr 2

Celia Gilliland Celia Gilliland (Apr 02 2020 10:27AM) : What are you arguing? How are they connected?

Apr 2

Chef Finny Roach Chef Finny Roach (Apr 02 2020 10:29AM) : Feedback more

I love your thesis but it seems a little bit lengthy. It seems like your last sentence is more your thesis and the first sentence is context, so maybe use that context for the start of your first body paragraph because it’s really strong and will help prove your thesis and keep the last sentence as your thesis

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Apr 2

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 02 2020 10:26AM) : Feedback more

Think about how you can be really clear about your argument here…..what are you trying to prove about the role of women?

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Apr 2

Dr. Christopher Fielden Dr. Christopher Fielden (Apr 02 2020 10:28AM) : Fielden Comment more

This is a great idea; however, give me something more. I have no reason to believe that this si true.

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:22PM) : feedback more

Jack, take Christopher’s comment to heart. Is there no threat of mass destruction in The Odyssey?

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Apr 2

Professor Parker Schneidau Professor Parker Schneidau (Apr 02 2020 10:20AM) : You might want to add some more juice too this.

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:20PM) : feedback more

Bennett, I wonder if you add to this…..they both monitor people…..why?

Apr 2

Master Jack O'Donnell Master Jack O'Donnell (Apr 02 2020 10:21AM) : Very clear and to the point bennett great

Apr 2

Dr. Christopher Fielden Dr. Christopher Fielden (Apr 02 2020 10:27AM) : Fielden Comment more

It would juice up your thesis more if you gave another reason to why the greek gods and the CIA are similar. For example, The CIA is like the Greek gods because they both monitor the people, express superiority, and are both powerful forces.

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:20PM) : feedback more

Bennett…you have some really valuable insights from classmates here! Use it!

Apr 2

Student Ainsley Thomas Student Ainsley Thomas (Apr 02 2020 10:29AM) : feedback more

The CIA helps and the gods were just causing problems.

Apr 3

Chelle Wabrek Chelle Wabrek (Apr 03 2020 4:19PM) : feedback more

Bennett, this would be an interesting thing for you to consider in your essay! Does the CIA help?

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