UHC Eti1
INSTRUCTIONS: Read the text below and write one comment and one reply (to a classmate) in English.
Comment either on what you learned from this reading AND/OR compare/contrast your culture with the description given. Or if you don’t agree with the certain aspects of the text, explain why. You may also comment on my explanatory notes beneath the text.
Etiquette
Spanish speakers tend toward formality in their treatment of one another. A firm handshake is a common practice between people as greeting and for leave-taking. A hug and a light kiss on a cheek are also common greeting practices between women, and men and women who are close friends or family. The Spanish language provides forms of formal and nonformal address (different use of usted* vs. tú for the pronoun you, polite and familiar commands, the use of titles of respect before people's first names such as Don or Doña**). In nonformal settings, conversations between Spanish speakers are usually loud, fast, and adorned with animated gestures and body language to better convey points.
Hispanics usually give great importance to and place great value on looks and appearance as a sense of honor, dignity, and pride. Formal attire is commonly worn by Hispanics to church, parties, social gatherings, and work. Tennis shoes and jeans, however, are becoming more popular among Hispanic women, particularly in non-formal settings. Hispanics tend to be more relaxed and flexible about time and punctuality than U.S. people. For instance, people who are invited for an 8 a.m. event may not begin to arrive until 8:30 a.m. or later. Within the Hispanic community, not being on time is a socially acceptable behavior. Hispanics tend to be reserved about public speaking because of their heavy foreign accent.
SOURCE https://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5237
*Our textbook covers only the formal (usted) forms.
**In my work selling industrial equipment throughout Latin America, I was sometimes called Don Rónald, or Señor Gest, or even Ingeniero Gest, the latter because of my degree in mechanical engineering. (Ingeniero means ‘engineer.’ )
**PARTIAL LIST OF TITLES OF RESPECT USED IN SOME SPANISH-SPEAKING COUNTRIES
Don: No equivalent in English (Used in Costa Rica and elsewhere; not used in Panama)
Arquitect: Arq. (arquitecto)
Engineer: Ing. (ingeniero)
Bachelor degree: Lic. (licenciado—Somewhat similar to B.A or B.S. degree)
Master degree: Más. (máster)
PhD degree and medical doctor: Dr. (doctor)
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As a Korean-American I have observed handshakes at many formal and informal events, but amongst Koreans, bowing is a formal greeting and leave-taking custom. Bowing lower to an individual denotes special respect and is consider normative to older or powerful individuals.
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My family really shows nothing more than hugs and handshakes to greet other people at family gatherings. When the time to leave came around it was more usually a hug, but these two things were considered proper for family. In this article I learned that the hispanic culture being on time is not acceptable.
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The most extreme example of not being punctual that I have experienced was in Peru. My wife and I were invited to a party that started at 6pm. Following the cultural rules, we arrived at 7pm, and, surprise!, we were the first guests to arrive! Awkward!! One guest even arrived at 1am, just as we were starting our late, late night meal of rotisserie chicken and a French fry-hot dog dish called ‘salchipapa’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salchipapa . Some parties go all night, into the early morning…
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I am an african american and as i grew up we always greeted family members and close friends with hugs and kisses on cheek. It was showing respect as my parents taught us.
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It is very cool knowing that our cultures share many similarities.
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I would say that greetings outlined in the reading align fairly close with what is customary within both my immediate and extended family. There is even an inside joke among one of my groups of extended family about how long a “Schoenbeck (my maiden name) Goodbye” takes; we typically go around to say goodbye to everyone before leaving, which often includes hugs and some small talk. In comparison to your comment, Sandra, I would say that I can relate to an extent. On both sides of my extended family, my siblings and I all greet my grandparents with a hug and kiss (and the same when leaving), as a sign of respect. The men in my extended family will greet with a handshake or occasionally a hug depending on the circumstances. My husband’s family, in contrast, is not as close among extended family and does not typically hug when arriving or leaving, so it all depends on the family and how they express their closeness and emotions.
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It’s interesting that Hispanics aren’t as concerned about time and being on time as Americans are. Whenever I have an event going on, I typically like to arrive early to it and hate running late for anything.
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I ran into this cultural shock when I married my Venezuelan wife. Conceptions of time and timeliness were way different than my Asian-American upbringing.
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In reading this explanation of views and behaviors on punctuality and time, I find myself considering how generalized these statements are. In comparison to my own family and social gatherings I attend, I would say there is more of an expectation to be on time for an event such as a birthday party. However, I also don’t feel that the rules surrounding punctuality are strict in this case; it wouldn’t necessarily be seen as disrespectful to arrive 30 minutes later. Further, more formal events such as a church gathering or an academic meeting, I would assume have more strict expectations around punctuality in Hispanic culture, similar to typical gatherings in America. Overall, it seems that when it comes to informal gatherings, I am accustomed to more strict expectations surrounding time.
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In my household you have to always be early to an event or anyplace where you are intended to be there at a certain time. My mother has drilled this into my head since I was a child. I have, what I call, time anxiety because of this. I will always some where I am expected to be at a particular time at least 30 minutes early. Some believe that 15 minutes early is also acceptable. Other people in my family believe that you only have to be early to events, and you can be somewhat late to a family gathering. This is because you would be with family who understands that “things happen”. In the Hispanic community the viewing of time tends to be more lenient, and this is something that it shown as socially acceptable. It seems as though it has always been this way.
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Hi Mr. Gest, one thing I didn’t know about the Hispanic language is that of giving you a formal title for a degree besides being a doctor.
I would take this as a sign of respect and accomplishment for you to get that far in able to obtain and earn that title as a mechanical engineer. Also, looking at the title of ‘Engineer’ is more of a term of endearment to me then Mr. or Senor. So this was really nice to hear your job titles and educations go perhaps a step further towards your salutation/greeting.
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Hi Peter, I was surprised too when the Colegio Federado de Ingenieros y de Arquitectos de Costa Rica http://cfia.or.cr/ (the national organization regulating engineers and architects, not a college, in spite of its name) gave me permission to put Ing. in front of my name on my business cards. Ing. meant instant credibility in my efforts to persuade potential customers (mainly other engineers) to purchase my equipment: “Oh yeah; he (Ing. Gest) is for real; he’s one of us too, and with his engineering degree from USA, even better.”
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I love how these titles are signs of respect. We only tend to say Dr. in America and Mr. or Mrs. It is cool that they even will use your career as a title as well. I have never heard of this before and it is quite interesting. I wonder how many titles they give for specific careers, or does it just stop with: arquitecto, ingeniero, licenciado, Mas, and Dr.
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I don’t know of any other titles, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t others in some places, given that Spanish is spoken in over 20 countries. I am most familiar with Central America and Peru.
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I noticed that when talking with Hispanic speakers are at a close distance from each other. If it seems that personal space is too small, it is better not to step aside. Since for them this may be a signal of hostility and unwillingness to continue a conversation with him. It is also considered normal to sometimes touch an interlocutor, even a representative of the opposite sex. Looking directly into the eyes of someone who is talking to you is perfectly acceptable. Although among rural residents this can be perceived as impudence and self-conceit. Especially in conversation with elders, it is better to look away. Late is the norm. Loud gesticulate is also the norm.
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Hi Anzhelika,
I too also noticed when speaking to Hispanics and my best friend is Puerto Rican that they do have a tendency to get loud and just like you said are closer into your personal space. My best friend and his family when I go there always say hi and how I’m doing within an arms length or closer sometimes. I’m not saying this per all Hispanic families but every family of my friends that I have been with has been this way growing up.
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I am of German and Czech descent, and my natural tendency is to back away if somebody is too close (closer than my comfort level). I have to be careful to stay put, especially with my father-in-law (from Peru—yes, my wife is from Peru, a Spanish-speaking country), who tends to move very close when talking to me and others. If I back away, I could offend him.
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It is different based on who you are talking to when it comes to personal space. I do get uncomfortable when someone is standing too close to me when speaking, or even when they are looking at me for a long period of time when talking. Its kind of like they are looking into your soul, if that makes sense, when they do this. Some people also do not look at you the whole time they are speaking. Some get offended when you back away or step away when a group conversation is being had. I, on the other hand, do not think that it is rude to step away when you are receiving a phone call, especially when you have excused yourself.
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I have a close friend who is mexican and we were talking to her parents one day and I got up to go to the car to sit and make a phone call and the parents said it was disrespectful to get up in middle of conversation and leave. So I know now that in their personal space it is better not to leave or step aside.
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I also get uncomfortable when I’m speaking to someone and they get too close to me. I’ve noticed that in American culture too, a lot of people don’t maintain eye contact during conversations as well. So, it’s interesting to compare Hispanic and American culture where in Hispanic culture, they can take offense if you back away from them or don’t maintain eye contact during a conversation.
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