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tdv5ey.02.12.12.All We Know Is Falling

Tessa Ventura

Analytic Paper – Rough Draft 2

All We Know Is Falling

For about five or six years, I did Tae Kwon Do, and even though we spent most of the time physically training, I realized now, about five or six years later, that I learned a lot of moral philosophy from my time there as well. Each time I advanced to the next belt level, I had to recite what was called “My Four Daily Affirmation”:

  1. I like myself because I always take action to make good things happen.

  2. I am humanly perfect because I never make mistakes knowingly.

  3. I am wise because I always learn something good everyday.

  4. I am happy that I am me because I always choose to be happy.

I forgot the affirmation as time went on, but I still held on to the ideals they symbolized. At a young age, I was especially drawn to the second creed about being “humanly perfect” because there is something beautiful and sincere about humanity and its imperfection. One of our main goals is to be perfect – to have a perfect job, a perfect family, a perfect life. Ultimately, however, nobody’s perfect. We make mistakes, but through our missteps, we learn how to do it right the second time around. We fall, and we get back up again. In The Amber Spyglass, we learn a lot about the concepts of humanity and imperfection, especially in its representation of the fall. Through his depiction of the fall, I think Pullman wanted to show a similar ideal. No single character in the book was totally innocent or lacking of sin. For him, the fall was not a disaster but rather a way for humans to gain more knowledge about themselves and the world around them. For me, I see truth and meaning in both stories of the fall, in the Bible and in the novel.

When I think of the word “fall”, I always think of one particular instance that I fell…literally. I was about a year old, and although I can’t remember it myself, my parents retell it over and over again, so much that it feels like a memory in my mind, vivid and clear. My brother and I were playing on our big wooden porch. The phone rang inside, and my mom left to answer it. She said to my brother, “Alan – take care of your sister.” He happily nodded and continued playing with his toy truck. I then apparently crawled away from my brother who was on the near side of the porch, squeezed my way through the bars of the fence, and fell from the 8-foot drop. When my mom came back, she frantically searched for me around the porch, asking Alan where I was, and finally found me lying down on the one small bush in the front yard. To this day, my mom thanks God for protecting me and keeping me safe.

This moment of falling is not something I remember, but it’s a critical moment in my life that I don’t want to ignore. The only word I can think of to describe this instance is “miracle.” One foot to the left and I would have hit the wooden stairs. One foot to the right and I would have hit the concrete of the foundation. Maybe it was mere luck or chance that saved me that day, but like my mom, I truly believe that God played a role in my safety. I guess there is no symbolism in my fall, but what I mean to show through this example of my life is that some things are often out of our control. We can’t foresee the future, and we can’t always avoid pain, but I’m sure in many of our cases, we can think of a phenomenal life or death moment that could have or did change our lives forever.

I instantly thought of this memory when Lyra was falling, literally, into an abyss. After the harpy saved her, Will and Lyra embraced in relief and consolation. Pullman wrote: “She wasn’t Lyra just then, and he wasn’t Will; she wasn’t a girl, and he wasn’t a boy. They were the only two human beings in that vast gulf of death.” This passage from the book, to me, illustrated a core part of human nature. In this instant, the children physically and emotionally need each other, especially after this fearful glimpse into possible catastrophe and devastation. Lyra would not have died immediately but rather she would have been falling forever, even in the afterlife, never knowing an end and never being able to escape. In this moment, I think they realize how fragile and delicate their existence can be. The passage is also significant in pointing to a major theme in the book, the fall, and how the main characters, Will and Lyra, symbolize Adam and Eve.

I found many aspects of the book intriguing to explore, but of all of them, I was constantly drawn to the fall, especially in the way I know the story and in seeing how Pullman reimagined it in his tale. In the Christian tradition, the metaphoric fall was mankind’s downfall from paradise to sin. In their moments of weakness, Eve was tempted by the serpent and Adam gave in to Eve. The fall is a much different interpretation in The Amber Spyglass, almost reversing the order and turning it from a world of chaos to a world of paradise. By attempting to understand the message that each version portrays, I feel like, even if just a little bit, I am inching my way toward understanding my own spirituality.

There are many things to consider with the fall – good vs. evil, the gain of knowledge, the idea of perfection and imperfection, sin and corruption, love. The fall seems to intricately capture all of these features yet at the same time leave open the possibility for interpretation and questioning. Like many others, I am still embarking on and figuring out my spirituality. I grew up in a Christian household, but I feel fortunate that I was raised in an environment that was accepting of and even encouraging exploration and curiosity. At a young age, every time I heard the story of Adam and Eve, I always hoped that Eve would ignore the snake. Of course, this never happened, but in my mind, I thought if she could just resist, everything would be perfect. But like the Four Daily Affirmation seem to question, what is perfect? What is good, and what is evil? Why did they fall in the end?

God punished Adam and Eve for disobedience, but I think there was a power in the freedom of choice. God put the tree of knowledge in the garden, and in doing so He gave them the opportunity to eat the fruit even though He forbade it; He gave them a choice. Similarly, Lyra and Will are presented with choices in their lives. Despite the difficulties in saving the people in the world of the dead, they choose to continue and endure the many obstacles they face in their path. In the Adam and Eve story, by committing sin and causing the downfall of man, they simultaneously gained knowledge. They learned about both the good and evil of the world, and it seems that Pullman finds the merit in this rather than the burden. One aspect that links the two is that with this knowledge, you can learn from your mistakes. You can learn to be better to yourself, to others, and to God.

What struck me the most about the fall in the Amber Spyglass was its association with love. I thought it was intriguing that Lyra’s moment of temptation appears when Mary describes her past love life to Lyra. It is through storytelling, through words and tales, that Mary tempts Lyra. Captivated and curious, it also seems significant that Lyra senses a change in herself and in her relationship with Will. I found myself in Lyra’s shoes as well because I could remember the exact same feeling of giddiness and wonder. Looking back at that time, I always shoot down the idea that I could have possibly been in love at that age. What I think Pullman shows here though is that in many ways, love is in its purest form when you’re young – when you’re both feeling, experiencing, thinking, and learning together. The fall is turned from something sinful and shameful into a fall into discovery and joy – falling in love.

Even though my Four Daily Affirmation were out of my mind for so long, I suddenly remembered them while reading The Amber Spyglass because the creeds best illustrate what the fall means to me. The fall demonstrates the aspects of goodness and evil, choice and freedom. The fall represents knowledge, both good and bad. We know what to improve and what our conscience demands. Finally, the fall represents our humanity. We are not perfect; we’re just people. But we can try to be as humanly perfect as possible. Yes, it might seem like the hardest thing to do, and I think it is, to be perfect in God’s eyes, or your parents’ eyes…in your eyes. Whether I am physically falling, learning about miracles/luck/chance, or falling emotionally through love or faith, I know that I am constantly learning, growing, and picking myself up after I fall and make mistakes. For me, this is the most central element of understanding my faith and exploring my own spiritual journey.

DMU Timestamp: February 10, 2012 21:22





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