Losing Track of Time
Author: A senior in high school
When something makes me lose track of time and I get lost in the moment, I recognize it is significant to me. The most prevalent example of this occurring in my life is when I am acting or creating imaginary scenes from real life situations. I think about acting more than anything else on a daily basis and nearly every situation in which I find myself. The complexity of acting is fascinating because it allows for me to be a part of an idea that is typically larger than life, out of this world, or simply an alternate reality. In my head I imagine a camera ready to film everyday scenarios and I analyze how I would approach each scene through multiple different emotions or themes. I’ve always noticed my brain works more creatively in situations where people wouldn't typically give the issue at hand much thought and I imagine myself pushing the envelope. Ultimately, character creation is what captivates me. It is the time with a script where I feel I am actually connecting with someone unique. I find acting enticing because I tend to overthink things in life and acting allows me to prepare for various scenarios that I’ve contemplated too much previously in real life situations. In daily interactions or conversations, I always think to myself how I could have expressed or presented myself differently and acting allows for me to fantasize a new outcome.
Let me share another example of what makes me lose track of time on something I really enjoy. Being part of the fashion and branding world while building a business around it on my own has been a major distraction...in a good way. I've always found much pleasure in expressing myself in the way I dress and I think of it as art. Putting an outfit together allows for a daily creative outlet and during high school I have been able to mix the worlds of clothing and business. Since my sophomore year, I have been buying and selling pieces of clothing through an online portal I created and have continued doing so to this day. It allows me to see the details of running a business whether it be from communicating to customers around the world or being able to calculate profits from total revenue. I find it extremely rewarding going about my day while getting notifications that one of my items sold and my focus immediately turns to fulfilling the sale as everything else becomes secondary. I have been able to make this my job throughout high school. I hope to build a brand of my own and create clothing and other merchandise inspired by some of my favorite designers and creators.
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I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
Strengths:
1. Focus on personal attributes and skills: The strength of your essay in this aspect is your vivid exploration of your passion for acting and fashion. Your words not only describe this but show it. Particularly, the line “I find acting enticing because I tend to overthink things in life and acting allows me to prepare for various scenarios that I’ve contemplated too much previously in real life situations” shows how acting has been central in shaping your perspectives and daily activities. Additionally, your explanation of why you enjoy running a fashion business depicts your entrepreneurial mindset and dedication – fundamental traits of great students.
Something to Improve: Perhaps touch on the transformative power of these pursuits on your character. Mention specific instances where you noticed a change in your attitudes, viewpoints, or behaviors as a result of these intriguing endeavors.
2. Recognizing good writing and storytelling: Your writing style demonstrates a strong narrative and describes your experiences in a conversational manner that will be easy for the admissions team to follow. Details like “In my head I imagine a camera ready to film everyday scenarios and I analyze how I would approach each scene through multiple different emotions or themes” create an engaging tone that invites the reader into your world.
Something to Improve: You might try to tighten up your text by eliminating any unnecessary words or vague phrases. For instance, you could say, “Acting fascinates me because I can recreate and reinterpret situations from everyday life,” for a more direct and compelling opening.
Something to Improve:
3. Looking for uniqueness: Your essay is strong in narrating your passion for acting and the unique way in which you perceive it but doesn’t go much in depth about your unique characteristics. In reference to your involvement in the clothing industry, give examples of how your creative vision differentiates your style from others. Highlight your innovative decisions, original styles, or unique ways you connect with customers. Be more concrete about your unique abilities, experiences and points of view especially in the part where you talk about building your own brand and creating merchandise inspired by your favorite designers.
Your essay shows a strong sense of self-awareness and creativity. With some refinement and deeper reflections on your experiences, it can become very compelling.
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I agree that your writing style shows compelling storytelling and describes your experiences in a conversational way that will be easy for the admissions team to understand.
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