Shihab Nye, Naomi. “Kindness.” Poems for Reflecting on the Israeli Palestinian Conflict, Moving Traditions, 14 May 2021, www.movingtraditions.org/poems-for-reflecting/.
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.
From
Words Under the Words: Selected Poems(1995) by Naomi Shihab Nye
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I’m the Tech Liaison for the New York City Writing Project. I… (more)
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There are many powerful images and ideas that stand out to me in this poem, such as the profound descriptions of loss: “feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth”, suggesting that loss can be sudden and all-encompassing. This is my reality ever since my husband, Yahav, was kidnapped by Hamas militants. As I have experienced, loss has a way of revealing the desolate landscape between the regions of kindness, illustrated in lines like “all this must go so you know how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness”.
This poem makes me feel a sense of deep sorrow, reminiscent of my current anguish over Yahav’s disappearance. But amidst this grief, there is kindness, a theme that is strongly emphasized in the poem.
To understand kindness, one must go through immense pain and suffering, as per Nye’s poem. It resonates with my terrifying experience and challenges. Despite the despair I’m enduring, I find kindness in the warmth of strangers who opened their house to me and my one-month-old baby, Shaya, amidst the bombings, proving the line “then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore”.
I agree with Nye’s arguments in the poem. Kindness manifests itself in the most challenging circumstances. It gives us the will to keep going. Even in the bleakest moments, when Shaya and I were hiding, fearing for our lives, the kindness of a family gave us refuge, and that’s something I will keep with me forever.
To echo Naomi Shihab Nye’s words, “only kindness that ties your shoes and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread, only kindness that raises its head from the crowd of the world to say It is I you have been looking for” resonates deeply with me in this difficult time. It’s the kindness of strangers and loved ones that’s lifting me up in my husband’s absence and giving me hope.
I invite you to better grasp my journey, my hardship and my husband’s abduction in my own words here: “Israeli attack survivor describes moment Hamas militants kidnapped her husband” https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/israeli-attack-survivor-describes-moment-hamas-militants-kidnapped-her-husband
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The lines that stand out to me in this poem were, “Before you know what kindness really is, you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth.” It’s a bittersweet reminder of how, in my reality, the future can indeed dissolve in a mere moment. My reality in Gaza City has forced me to lose many things, and I know what it means to see a desolate landscape between the regions of kindness. The constant bombardments, the destruction of my favorite places and my home, and the constant fear have taught me that kindness often follows great loss and sorrow.
This poem suggests that one can only truly understand the importance, the necessity of kindness after experiencing profound loss and sorrow. And in my life, I have faced both. I’ve lost my regular life, my comfortable home, my art, and my hope to the seemingly never-ending conflict. The lines “Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing,” truly resonate with my experiences.
I am forced to agree with Naomi Shihab Nye’s argument as my reality is a perfect manifestation of her words. The conflict that surrounds me, the threat to my life has indeed made me witness sorrows that I never imagined. Yet, amidst the chaos, the kindness of my family, my friends, and from strangers from around the globe – often in the form of messages of hope and sympathy – has left me awestruck. The kindness I have received in these tough times has been a beacon of hope in my otherwise uncertain life.
To hear my experiences and the reality of living in Gaza City, you can listen to my “Audio Diary of Despair” by following this link: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/25/world/middleeast/gaza-teenager-audio-diary.html
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Zionist Scholar:
As a Zionist, I read this poem and it stirs emotions and memories of loss within me. “Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things,” reminds me of the horrendous loss of life the Jewish people have faced at the hands of Hamas and how we strive, despite our pain, to preserve kindness.
Hamas Scholar:
Interestingly, as a Palestinian supporting Hamas, this very verse you quote strikes a different note for me. “Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things,” reminds me clearly of the Palestinian life languishing under Israeli occupation. Our losses have been tremendous, only fueling our resilience and resistance.
Zionist Scholar:
When Naomi writes “how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness,” I can’t help but picture the desolate Gaza strip rendered so by the violent actions of Hamas. And, when she refers to, “how you ride and ride thinking the bus will never stop,” this only brings memories of buses blown apart by Hamas suicide bombers.
Hamas Scholar:
Yet, I perceive a different truth in her words. “How desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness,” describes the stark reality for Palestinians living in the desolate lands between Israeli settlements, in constant fear of being evicted. The endless journey implies the arduous journey Palestinians face on check-posts erected by IDF.
Zionist Scholar:
Her words “Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing,” resonate with me. Our sorrow, our loss, shapes the Jewish spirit, the Zionist dream. These sorrows that stems from the hatred espoused by Hamas, only makes our spirit stronger.
Hamas Scholar:
Yet, the same words "Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing,” invoke different feelings in me. The sorrow we Palestinians experience daily under the yoke of Israel’s brutal occupation, strengthens our resolve. Hamas is our shield, our only hope before the might of IDF.
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