Peer Review

Lexie Gerson

April 15, 2012

SWAG 4700

Peer Review

Summary:

The effects that homophobia has on America’s society and how it is mainly portrayed through the use of the word “fag.” The word “fag” is not really used to call someone homosexual anymore, but in fact to just come at their masculinity and down grade them with it. The word “fag” is used mainly by younger boys to make fun of or abuse their peers. The word “fag” was compared to racism and used in example on how abuse one word can be. The emotional damage it has on young boys and not only their masculinity, but them as a person because it contains such a negative connotation that derived from a homosexual slur. This is bad and everyone should move towards releasing homophobia and dealing with their own masculinity problems to make a change.

What was successful?

I like all the information and sources that were used. I think there were some really good quotes in there and interviews. Using a professor is always a good thing because they have good credibility. I think he was very powerful, using his quotes on masculinity. I like a lot of the ideas as I said in my comments, I thought the outside stories you used such as the surfer, and the guy who came in and shot everyone at school for abusing him daily, was rally powerful. Stories that people can relate to I think contain the heaviest material. I would like to see you go in depth more on the ones I marked. If our object really is to change how people view the word “fag” or their connotation on masculinity and how they use it then stories people can relate to or understand is the best way to go I think. I think this is a topic that you can talk about in so many different angels and it is really interesting. I am excited to see your final product.

What Needs Work?

I think like everyone else’s paper at this point, you need more organization. Your paragraphs do not flow smoothly. I feel like I said there are so many different angels you could go from on this topic that it is probably really hard to narrow it down. I think your outside sources and stories are the most interesting. You might want to take a general consensus of the word masculinity before you go and break it down into what it means now and to certain groups of people. I think that should be where you first start because without that main definition of masculinity everything else you are saying has nothing to compare it to.

I don’t exactly understand your claim. I feel like you saying everyone needs to deal with their own masculinity problems to make a change is way too broad. How does one do that? I feel like you had a lot of information and a lot of things to say, but it did not exactly go anywhere. There might have been maybe too much of your own opinion, I think your paper was strongest when you were referencing others.

References:

My first reference was going to be “Dude You’re a Fag,” but you already have that one. Like I said I think you’re best route would be to use outside true stories that people can relate to, while incorporating scientific people who have credibility on the subject.

DMU Timestamp: April 10, 2012 21:42