NowComment
2-Pane Combined
Comments:
Full Summaries Sorted

Don't Get Ego-­Invested

Author: Chris Lehmann and Zac Chase

0 General Document comments
0 Sentence and Paragraph comments
0 Image and Video comments


One of our teachers came into Chris's office and said, “I'm concerned about one of my students.” When Chris asked why, the teacher told him that the student had her head down in class and was really not engaging in the lesson. He went over to her and gave her some options—she could reengage with the class if she was capable, she could go see her coadvisor, go see the counselor, or even go to Chris's office and just be, but she couldn't stay in class unengaged. The student left class but didn't go any of those places, which the teacher quickly realized. He used our Slate system—the School Information System that we created with the Philadelphia web development firm Jarv.us (http://slate.is)—to send a message of concern to the student, her mom, and Chris. The student had been having a rough go of it lately, so this was not the first message that mother had received.

New Conversation
Paragraph 1 0
profile_photo
Nov 16
Cory Hughley (Nov 16 2015 9:35AM) : The teachers care about they students in their school
New Conversation
Paragraph 1, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 1, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 1, Sentence 3 0
profile_photo
Nov 16
Naya Vasquez (Nov 16 2015 12:08PM) : its aboout a girl that is just walks out of class and does not participate. more

I think that she is going through a lot at the moment and does not want to be bothered or talk to anyone.

New Conversation
Paragraph 1, Sentence 4 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 1, Sentence 5 0
profile_photo
Nov 12
Damaris Hernandez (Nov 12 2015 1:13PM) : Is this a common system to schools?
New Conversation
Paragraph 1, Sentence 6 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

The young woman returned to class after being called by her mom, and as the teacher checked in with her, she looked at him and said, “Why do all you teachers have to be so [you can imagine the word she used] helpful all the time? Why can't you just leave us alone?”

New Conversation
Paragraph 2 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 2, Sentence 1 0
profile_photo
Nov 16
Naya Vasquez (Nov 16 2015 12:13PM) : the paragrah was about how they called her mom and she does not like when the teachers tried to help her more

I think that she is right because in my school I ask them and myself the same questions I do appreciate that they are trying to help but they need to let us learn from our mistakes and let us live our life.

New Conversation
Paragraph 2, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

The teacher didn't react in a “How dare you use that language with me?” manner. He didn't send her to the office. And he definitely did not turn the situation into a power struggle in the classroom. Instead, he saw a student whom he had known for three years as an advisee and a student who was not OK, and he saw that, in that moment, he was not going to be the adult who was able to break through her anger and get her. So he came to Chris.

New Conversation
Paragraph 3 0
profile_photo
Nov 12
Ariana Elgabalawi (Nov 12 2015 1:21PM) : Teacher, instead of jumping to conclusions, assumed the student needs help and called for someone to collect the student and talk to her and see what is going on with her. more

We need more teachers like this, teachers who don’t assume the worst. We need more teachers who are willing to find out how the students are doing; teachers who actually care about the well-being of their students.

New Conversation
Paragraph 3, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 3, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 3, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 3, Sentence 4 0
profile_photo
Nov 16
Naya Vasquez (Nov 16 2015 12:17PM) : In this paragraph the teacher tried to help her in a good way more

I think that we need more teachers like that because in this generation if kids say 1 wrong thing teachers will try to get them suspended we need more teachers who cares.

New Conversation
Paragraph 3, Sentence 5 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

Not to get her in trouble.

New Conversation
Paragraph 4 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 4, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

Not to “report” her.

New Conversation
Paragraph 5 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 5, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

But to see if Chris could help. That matters. A lot.

New Conversation
Paragraph 6 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 6, Sentence 1 0
profile_photo
Nov 12
Damaris Hernandez (Nov 12 2015 1:15PM) : We need more teachers like this.
New Conversation
Paragraph 6, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 6, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

So Chris found her and asked her to come to his office. Needless to say, she thought she was in trouble. Students know they shouldn't curse out their teachers.

New Conversation
Paragraph 7 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 7, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 7, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 7, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

Instead, Chris told her that her teacher was worried about her, and he asked her what we could do to help.

New Conversation
Paragraph 8 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 8, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

And the wall came down. She was having a really lousy day. Nothing earth-shattering, nothing that wouldn't get better, but the kind of day that really makes it hard to be in a classroom, because there's no way you're going to focus.

New Conversation
Paragraph 9 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 9, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 9, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 9, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

She and Chris talked about that for a while. And then Chris was able to say, “You know, you cursed out your advisor, and his first reaction was that he was worried you weren't OK. He could have gotten all teacher-angry on you, and he didn't.”

New Conversation
Paragraph 10 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 10, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 10, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 10, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

That was all she needed. She said, “Yeah, that wasn't OK, what I did. I need to go talk to him. I need to go apologize. I wasn't mad at him. That wasn't right to do that.”

New Conversation
Paragraph 11 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 11, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 11, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 11, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 11, Sentence 4 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 11, Sentence 5 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 11, Sentence 6 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

That's massive. That's the ball game. It is everything we want.

New Conversation
Paragraph 12 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 12, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 12, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 12, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

And it happened because a teacher cared more about his student than he did about his teacher-self.

New Conversation
Paragraph 13 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 13, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

It happened because a teacher knew that it really does take a village sometimes, and he knew that it was going to take more than one adult to help the student with where she was that day.

New Conversation
Paragraph 14 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 14, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

It happened because a student was very willing to move past her own defensiveness and see that she wasn't “in trouble,” but that her behavior hurt someone who cared for her, and that wasn't OK with her.

New Conversation
Paragraph 15 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 15, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

Mostly it happened because that teacher wasn't ego-invested in his dominance in the classroom. He saw pain where others might have seen only defiance. He saw a kid he cared about, a kid he knew cared about him, lashing out, and that worried him enough to ask for help.

New Conversation
Paragraph 16 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 16, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 16, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 16, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

We can get ego-invested in so many ways in our classrooms. We can fall in love with our own sense of authority. We can fall in love with our ability to be the one to “save” kids who don't need saving but who need care. We can fall in love with the bunker mentality—that we, and only we, can make a difference, to the exclusion of the other adults in a child's life.

New Conversation
Paragraph 17 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 17, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 17, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 17, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 17, Sentence 4 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

This teacher did none of those things, so a young woman could trust him and could own her own mistake without feeling defensive. And yes, she doubled back to him and apologized completely. She owned that she was wrong, that she had treated him poorly, and that he didn't deserve it. And she simply apologized, meant it, and told him she would do better.

New Conversation
Paragraph 18 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 18, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 18, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 18, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 18, Sentence 4 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

We are sure that she missed some good course content that day. But we trust that she can catch up. What she —and we—learned that day was every bit as important.

New Conversation
Paragraph 19 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 19, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 19, Sentence 2 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 19, Sentence 3 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

From Theory to Practice

New Conversation
Paragraph 20 0
No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
New Conversation
Paragraph 20, Sentence 1 0
No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
  • Often the conflicts between teachers and students (a) are unrelated to what is going on in school, (b) are due to a student's inability to understand something in the classroom, or (c) stem from a student's frustration with her own lack of success. Examine a recent conflict you have had with a student. Ask yourself, “What was the student really angry about?” If we can understand student anger from a different perspective, we can work with students from a very different perspective. Find the student you had that conflict with. Be willing to sit down and ask him questions about why he was angry and if there was anything you could have done differently in that moment to have defused that anger.
  • New Conversation
    Paragraph 21 0
    No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 21, Sentence 1 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 21, Sentence 2 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 21, Sentence 3 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 21, Sentence 4 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 21, Sentence 5 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 21, Sentence 6 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
  • Talk to other teachers. Don't assume that everything in your classroom has to happen in a vacuum. If a student is on a sports team, ask the coach how she works with the student. If a student has better success in another classroom, talk to that teacher. If everyone is frustrated, bring in another voice—a counselor or an administrator—who is willing to sit with the student and a teacher or two and talk through the frustration.
  • New Conversation
    Paragraph 22 0
    No paragraph-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 22, Sentence 1 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 22, Sentence 2 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 22, Sentence 3 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 22, Sentence 4 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.
    New Conversation
    Paragraph 22, Sentence 5 0
    No sentence-level conversations. Start one.

DMU Timestamp: October 27, 2015 10:51

General Document Comments 0
Start a new Document-level conversation

profile_photo
Nov 12
Matthew Easley (Nov 12 2015 1:13PM) : What does it take to be a good teacher? more

I think this article covers one of the core concepts behind being a good teacher. A good teacher has to have empathy. They have to care about there students, and they have to care as much as they care about themselves.

profile_photo
Nov 12
Trevor Perry (Nov 12 2015 1:16PM) : I think that this is what more teachers should be like. Instead of giving a hard time/being inconsiderate they should see how they could help students that may be having personal issues.
profile_photo
Nov 12
The Honorable Jacob Pulice (Nov 12 2015 1:25PM) : I agree that sometimes Teachers aren't considerate enough, however they have all been there, and they do know how real the struggle is.
profile_photo
Nov 12
Mrs. Dawn Reed (Nov 12 2015 1:17PM) : Reframe the conversation more

I appreciate the notion of reframing a conversation around how can we help versus how can we punish. Keeping in mind that people are constantly dealing with a lot that may be impacting them is helpful. Of course, we also need to think about how we portray ourselves too and how outside factors might impact our behavior, so we don’t come off more harshly to someone that does not deserve that.

Let’s be mindful of assumptions when interacting with others and reframe our conversations.

profile_photo
Nov 12
grace chin (Nov 12 2015 1:18PM) : Understanding the student more

I think this is a great way to motivate and encourage the student rather than to report her and let the office handle her. Understanding the situations of the students and putting themselves to students’ shoes is very helpful.

Image
0 comments, 0 areas
add area
add comment
change display
Video
add comment

Quickstart: Commenting and Sharing

How to Comment
  • Click icons on the left to see existing comments.
  • Desktop/Laptop: double-click any text, highlight a section of an image, or add a comment while a video is playing to start a new conversation.
    Tablet/Phone: single click then click on the "Start One" link (look right or below).
  • Click "Reply" on a comment to join the conversation.
How to Share Documents
  1. "Upload" a new document.
  2. "Invite" others to it.

Logging in, please wait... Blue_on_grey_spinner