4/6/2016Why Do I Fight With My Parents So Much?
TeensHealth.org
A safe, private place to get doctorapproved information on health, emotions, and life.
Why Do I Fight With My Parents So Much?
The clothes you wear. The food you eat. The color of your bedroom walls. Where you go and how you get there. The people you hang with. What time you go to bed.
What do these things have in common, you're asking? They're just a few examples of the many hundreds of things that your parents controlled for you when you were a child. As a kid, you didn't have a say in very much that went on; your parents made decisions about everything from the cereal you ate in the morning to the pajamas you wore at night. And it's a good thing, too — kids need this kind of protection and assistance because they aren't mature enough to take care of themselves and make careful decisions on their own.
But eventually, kids grow up and become teens. And part of being a teen is developing your own identity — one that is separate from your parents'. It's totally normal for teens to create their own opinions, thoughts, and values about life; it's what prepares them for adulthood.
But as you change and grow into this new person who makes his or her own decisions, your parents may have a difficult time adjusting. They aren't used to the new you yet — they only know you as the kid who had everything decided for you and didn't mind.
In most families, it's this adjustment that can cause a lot of fighting between teens and parents. You want to cover your walls with posters; they don't understand why you don't like your kiddie wallpaper anymore. You think it's OK to hang at the mall every day after school; they would rather that you play a sport.
Clashes like these are very common between teens and parents — teens get angry because they feel parents don't respect them and aren't giving them space to do what they like, and parents get angry because they aren't used to not being in control or they disagree with the teens' decisions.
http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/fight.html?view=ptr&WT.ac=tptr1/2
4/6/2016Why Do I Fight With My Parents So Much?
It's easy for feelings to get very hurt when there are conflicts like these. And more complicated issues — like the types of friends you have or your attitudes about sex and partying — can cause even bigger arguments, because your parents will always be intent on protecting you and keeping you safe, no matter how old you are.
The Upside
The good news about fighting with your parents is that in many families the arguing will lessen as parents get more comfortable with the idea that their teen has a right to certain opinions and an identity that may be different from theirs.
It can take several years for parents and teens to adjust to their new roles, though. In the meantime, concentrate on communicating with your parents as best you can.
Sometimes this can feel impossible — like they just don't see your point of view and never will. But talking and expressing your opinions can help you gain more respect from your parents, and you may be able to reach compromises that make everyone happy. For example, if you are willing to clean your room in order to stay out an hour later, both you and your parents walk away with a good deal.
Keep in mind, too, that your parents were teens once and that, in most cases, they can relate to what you're going through.
Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: October 2013
Note: All information on TeensHealth® is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
© 19952016 The Nemours Foundation. All rights reserved.
Images provided by The Nemours Foundation, iStock, Getty Images, Corbis, Veer, Science Photo Library, Science
Source Images, Shutterstock, and Clipart.com
http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/fight.html?view=ptr&WT.ac=tptr2/2
Logging in, please wait...
0 General Document comments
0 Sentence and Paragraph comments
0 Image and Video comments
New Conversation
New Conversation
Hide Thread Detail
New Conversation
Hide Thread Detail
New Conversation
This is part of the explanations as to why teens fight with their parents. They don’t always agree with these new ideas. Parents are used to being totally in control but teens have a newfound want for respect and and space.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
New Conversation
Because if its someone like me, I hangout with the people I know I can trust. I also go to bed at like 1, and its because I’m watching YouTube or anime. So it’s speaking to people like me.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
This is just one example from the text, but the repeated use of “you”/“your” implies that the author’s writing is directed at the reader; a teenager.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
The author’s is directed the speech to teenagers because parents always trying to save the teenagers by use this words .
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
When you are a kid your parents decide the cloths you wear, what you eat, and just about everything up until you are a teen. This is why the author uses these sentences so the article can relate with teens frustration with their parents, also this date it instead of making it relateable but I am not here to judge the article.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
“The clothes you wear”
I chose this because maybe your parents may not like the clothes you wear
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
When you were a kid your parents made the decisions for you, so they choose when you got to have a play date and with who.They didn’t have to worry about you being in danger or doing bad things. Now you’ve grown up and you get to choose who you hang with & where you go. To them its a big step to letting you on your own because your their little baby to them and they don’t want you to be in danger & this is were you can prove them to trust you.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
I used to fight with my parents about because we thought I was just being picky about it but we are starting to think its a disorder.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
Hide Thread Detail
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
I think that she is using that to show that she is trying to reach out to us, teenages, about this problem.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment Hide Thread Detail
i agree with you. i dont think the purpose of the author writing this is to tell a story i think it was to help us as readers.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
New Conversation
The second point of view is so that the author can make it more direct towards the audience she was going for which is teenagers, thus to make it more personal. I see this a use of perspective that can be false when talking to teens who did not nor had their parents watching over every single thing they did, like me.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
she says this because it will help kids prepare for future reference like what will be good for you and whats best
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
See when you become a teen your childhood fades away, thus you are a kid with a dead childhood and a new sense of how bad the world actually is. This is when you grow up as being the moment when real life shows you what you can become and what you are.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
“as you change and grow into this new person who makes his/her own decisions, your parents may have a difficult time adjusting”, the word “you”,“your” suggests that the author is speaking to whoevers reading that text. For ex. most/some teenagers understand what it’s like to have parents struggle w/ accepting/understanding their changes therefore it’s most likely for them.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
Hide Thread Detail
The main idea of this article is that teens and their parents fight so often because parents aren’t used to their children having so much control over what they do. They are scared and want to protect their children and keep them safe, but teens want to make their own choices no matter how smart (or not so smart) these choices are, which leads to a lot of conflict.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
that the reason that their baby girl or boy is growing up. That makes fights happen in the family. Just because they start thinking differently about things, I know what its like.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
The author explains that as a teenager, you may find that your parent’s ideas and opinions clash a lot with your own. At the end of the article, the author provides some possible solutions for the reader.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
This article is mainly about parents not knowing how to adjust to their children growing up and making their own decisions.Because of this huge seemingly sudden change parents don’t know how to react and teenagers feel disrespected which causes family clashes.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
In paragraph 10 the whole paragraph tells the main idea. The main idea of this whole article is to inform by answering the question. It’s to inform teens why their parents have a hard time adjusting to the new and real them. See it is not a question of why it is a question of when will your childhood end as you grow up.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
The article’s main idea is that teens fight with their parents a lot because children increasingly get more independent and begin making there own choices and opinions. A lot of the time this scares parents because they don’t want their child to grow up. They want to protect their kids from real life’s problems and keep them sheltered.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
New Conversation
Teenagers and parents fight so much because as you grow up you start wanting to a make your own decisions. That’s totally fine because that’s a part of growing up but to them your still their little baby and they want to still make decisions for you. The reason that is because they don’t want you be in danger or make the wrong decisions. For example say you have a friend & your mom isn’t really okay with you hanging with them. This can be a problem which leads to disagreement and argument.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
When I was younger I did not have really any kid posters I only have 2 on my wall now and i do play a sport not like with teams i skateboard I dont like the mall that much
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
I think this paragraph is very relatable because it describes why teens and parents fight so much. As teens grow up, they form their own opinions, friends they like to hang out with, and interests. Gradually, parents loose control over what their kids do which inevitably forms conflict. The phrase “aren’t giving them space to do what they like,” explains why teens get frustrated. Parents aren’t letting them make their own choices because they think they are making the wrong one. This happens because our parents always want to protect us and loosing that control, is especially hard. The saying “we learn from our mistakes” also comes to mind when I read this because we learn and grow from our experiences. Just like we learn and grow from choices we make as teens regardless if they are good or bad.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
New Conversation
New Conversation
General Document Comments 0