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The hidden struggle of my life.

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Nov-26-19 The hidden struggle of my life.

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As I was living in a world were black people still not accepted, I maggie personally feel that the only difference that I was living in was my own family. At a young age, I lived with my grandmother Mama and my sister Dee. Dee was alwys getting the best from everyone and I was always put last, there was not a specific reason of why she always get everything and my own faily forget me. I a

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DMU Timestamp: November 21, 2019 20:25

Added November 26, 2019 at 3:09pm by Denieris Marte
Title: The hidden struggle of my life.

The hidden struggle of my life.

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As I was living in a world were black people still not accepted oor mostly approved by society. I maggie personally feel that the only difference that I was living in was my own family. At a young age, I lived with my grandmother Mama and my sister Dee. Dee was always getting the best from everyone and I was always put last, there was not a specific reason of why she always get everything and my own family forget me. I have always been a great child as well as my sister, but many people always thought that I feel felt a sense of evy for envy toward her.In some way ways I admire her because of her viscosity personality and her strength to be an independent black young woman within all in our place.

As I was living in a world were black people still not accepted oor mostly approved by society. I maggie personally feel that the only difference that I was living in was my own family. At a young age, I lived with my grandmother Mama and my sister Dee. Dee was always getting the best from everyone and I was always put last, there was not a specific reason of why she always get everything and my own family forget me. I have always been a great child as well as my sister, but many people always thought that I felt a sense of envy toward her. In some ways I admire her because of her personality and her strength to be an independent black young woman.

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Paul Allison

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:06PM) : I don't really understand what Maggie is saying here. Maybe try to restate the first two sentences more simply, like Maggie speaking to us?
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Dec 3
Denieris Marte Denieris Marte (Dec 03 2019 2:29PM) : what Maggie is trying to say is how she felt when for her own family she was not enough and that even though she was a black teen woman her problem was not society it was her own family becuase they never pay attention to her needs
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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:16PM) : Suggested Revision more

I maggie personally feel that the The only difference that I was living in was my own family.

Reason: You can make your sentences simpler like this, but I don't really understand what "difference" Maggie is feeling here. Is she saying that she doesn't experience racism outside of her home?

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Denieris Marte Denieris Marte (Dec 03 2019 2:31PM) : that is not the point, the point is that beside outside racism the one that did not make her feel comfortable was the one she was suffering at home
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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:17PM) : Suggested Revision more

Dee was always getting the best from everyone and I was always put last, there . There was not a specific reason of why she always get everything and my own family forget me.

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Denieris Marte Denieris Marte (Dec 03 2019 2:32PM) : thanks
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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:18PM) : Suggested Revision more wording accepted ✓

I have always been a great child as well as my sister, but many people always thought that I feel felt a sense of evy for envy toward her.

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:21PM) : Suggested Revision more wording accepted ✓

In some way ways I admire her because of her viscosity personality and her strength to be an independent black young woman within all in our place.

Reason: Not sure what word you need here. Do you mean outgoing? Or big? I don't think you mean thick which is what viscosity means. Also I'm not sure what you mean by "within all in our place." Do you mean "at home"?

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Denieris Marte Denieris Marte (Dec 03 2019 2:34PM) : yes by "within all in our place" i mean home and by viscosity I meant outgoing.
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My desire to become an independent woman and have the strength of being around people more often were the biggest archival challenges for my life.I could never be independent because my family do did not trust my instincts of going me to go outside of the racial world Black neighborhood that we were living in but they .They have always believed that there was nothing impossible for Dee but it was , but there would always be a lot of obstacles for me Maggie.It seems and felt that just because Dee was the only one who gets got a decent education and I was left behind.But I honestly can say that I have never envy envied my sister.Well, well I did want to become something more like her but that was all because I want the wanted to get the acceptance of my family.

My desire to become an independent woman and have the strength of being around people more often were the biggest challenges for my life. I could never be independent because my family did not trust me to go outside of the Black neighborhood that we were living in. They have always believed that there was nothing impossible for Dee, but there would always be a lot of obstacles for me. It felt that just Dee was the only one who got a decent education and I was left behind. But I honestly can say that I have never envied my sister. Well, I did want to become something more like her but that was all because I wanted to get the acceptance of my family.

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:22PM) : Suggested Revision more wording accepted ✓

My desire to become an independent woman and have the strength of being around people more often were the biggest archival challenges for my life.

Reason: Is "challenges" what you mean?

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Denieris Marte Denieris Marte (Dec 03 2019 2:35PM) : yes, thanks it was like challenges
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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:24PM) : Suggested Revision more wording accepted ✓

I could never be independent because my family do did not trust my instincts of going me to go outside of the racial world Black neighborhood that we were living in but they . They have always believed that there was nothing impossible for Dee but it was , but there would always be a lot of obstacles for me Maggie.

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:25PM) : Suggested Revision more wording accepted ✓

It seems and felt that just because Dee was the only one who gets got a decent education and I was left behind.

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:26PM) : Suggested Revision more wording accepted ✓

But I honestly can say that I have never envy envied my sister. Well, well I did want to become something more like her but that was all because I want the wanted to get the acceptance of my family.

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:27PM) : I'm not sure this rings true. Would Maggie only want success because of her family's -- her mother's -- opinions? I think she would want success just because she would want a happier life, no?
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The hardest part of being maggie, or better to say for me the hard part of me hard part for me was feeling all those overwhelmed feelings in which my mom never gave me a hug, my grandmother looked at me in a different and an unusual way.It felts felt that no one cares cared about me, .I always felt left behind because I always wanted to have everything and by everything .And when I say everything, I mean love but . But I never got anything. I was always lonely, .I couldn’t have an education because I wasn’t someones favorite and thatsomeone's favorite. But education is not the biggest achievement that anyone could have in their life. It was a struggle but it was like a nift stabbed in the chest but the more pain you have you need to keep it to yourself because you're alone in a desert without any help to get out.

The hard part for me was feeling all those overwhelmed feelings in which my mom never gave me a hug, my grandmother looked at me in a different and an unusual way. It felt that no one cared about me. I always felt left behind because I always wanted to have everything. And when I say everything, I mean love. But I never got anything. I was always lonely. I couldn’t have an education because I wasn’t someone's favorite. But education is not the biggest achievement that anyone could have in their life. It was a struggle but it was like a nift stabbed in the chest but the more pain you have you need to keep it to yourself because you're alone in a desert without any help to get out.

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:28PM) : Suggested Revision more wording accepted ✓

The hardest part of being maggie, or better to say for me the hard part of me hard part for me was feeling all those overwhelmed feelings in which my mom never gave me a hug, my grandmother looked at me in a different and an unusual way.

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:29PM) : Suggested Revision more wording accepted ✓

It felts felt that no one cares cared about me, . I always felt left behind because I always wanted to have everything and by everything . And when I say everything, I mean love but . But I never got anything.

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:30PM) : Suggested Revision more wording accepted ✓

I was always lonely, . I couldn’t have an education because I wasn’t someones favorite and thatsomeone's favorite. But education is not the biggest achievement that anyone could have in their life.

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Student Issaka Dabre Student Issaka Dabre (Nov 26 2019 3:46PM) : The last sentence more

I really like this last sentence be you explained her pain through an analogy which i think it great

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Denieris Marte Denieris Marte (Dec 03 2019 2:36PM) : thanks :)
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It was a struggle but it . It was like a nift stabbed knife-stab in the chest, but the more pain you have, the more you need to keep it to yourself because you're alone in a desert without any help to get out.

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Paul Allison (Dec 02 2019 7:31PM) : What a violent, sad ending!
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Denieris Marte Denieris Marte (Dec 03 2019 2:38PM) : It was just a saying, it's how hard her struggle with her family was

DMU Timestamp: November 21, 2019 20:25

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