Margaret J. Wheatley: Pairing/Disturbed Texts
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Wheatley, Margaret J. Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the FutureSan Francisco: Berrett-Koshler Publishers, Inc.,
2002.
Looking at the year this piece of literature was written was a shock to me. Through the piece I continuously made connection to the election and to the pandemic. I felt like I was reading a powerful piece written in 2020 describing and giving advice to get through tough times. I believe that this piece is extremely important for others to read and hear especially during these times. Reading about having differences but succeeding together is something a lot of people need to hear as President Biden takes office. There is a lot of people out there that do not agree with Biden and the Democratic party, but as the text says, “It’s not our differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do.” We are all human and we are also all American.
I agree with you Megan these essays were relating to our uncertain life with the pandemic and election and everything else that has happened this past year.
Seeing that this was written the year I was born shocks me. I have been a live for 18 years and the world has only gotten worst in the way people treat each other and their own, different opinions. This needs to change.
I like that you took Wheatley’s suggestion and did it! You told us what shocked you. I too was shocked by the year it was written. I had assumed, like you, that it was written this year. I feel like it is something we all need to read right now.
This is one of the first things that I noticed. The author stated, “We live in a complex world, we often don’t know what’s going on, and we won’t be able to understand its complexity unless we spend more time in not knowing”. This was published in 2002 and it is so relatable in todays world. We wake up in the morning and have no clue what we are going to be challenged with during that day.
Megan (Blue One) has helped us to center the time stamp on this particular essay. If we really look at this time stamp we might say something about the election of 2000. The events of September 11, 2001. There was a divide in our nation at this time. . .some two decades prior to our consideration of this text.
“Willing to Be Disturbed”
A new hobby I have picked up recently is skateboarding. In skateboarding you must be willing to “be disturbed”, or fail, or else you will not progress. Through the short time I have been taught a new meaning of being “willing to be disturbed”.
As we work together to restore hope to the future, we need to include a new and strange ally—our willingness to be disturbed. Our willingness to have our beliefs and ideas challenged by what others think. No one person or perspective can give us the answers we need to the problems of today.Paradoxically, we can only find those answers by admitting we don’t know. We have to be willing to let go of our certainty and expect ourselves to be confused for a time.
“Be comfortable being uncomfortable” is a quote that was drilled into my head at a young age. As I have gotten older I have realized the significance of it.
Trey, this too has been drilled into my head at a very young age. Not only in life but in sports as well. Honestly hearing this so much has made me never really want to stay inside the comfort zone.
first I would like to point out where it says restoring hope into the future. That statement is a big part in todays world. We are all needing restoration in something coming up in the future. Also this whole paragraph is something so many people today struggle with, challenging beliefs and ideas admitting we do not actually know and letting go of certainty. Lacking acceptance in confusion.
Reading that this was written in 2002 is slightly shocking, for it seems very fitting for 2021. “Hope to the future,” this seems to be one of the statements many are holding onto going into 2021. After all 2020 entailed there has been a lot of hope centered around 2021.
I agree with you there. Her writing could definitely be applied to our lives right now and I am sure it will still apply in the decades to come. And for everyone’s sake, let’s hope 2021 is a better year than 2020.
This is something I could get behind. There is something about getting over a fear or something that previously disgusted me that gives a sense of relief that “Oh, maybe this isn’t so bad.”
After reading this sentence I instantly got flashbacks to my first two years of high school football and being hammered with the phrase “you have to be uncomfortable with the uncomfortable” endlessly. Coach Dablow would even bring this quote off of the field and use it to motivate us in our everyday life.
I feel like in today’s times most people are living in their own echo chambers. They surround themselves with people who believe what they believe and will repeat what they say. I see this most commonly with religious people or people invested into politics. I see ourselves becoming increasingly divided in a time where we need to all be unified.
I think it is always good to have somebody to push yourself against. Conversation leads the way to change. It is how we get to feel disturbed.
People do have a tendency to surround themselves with people who think the same as them and for what reason? It is always good to have your views challenged because it gives an opportunity to learn and see from a different perspective.
One of the keys to knowing what one truely believes is having one’s beliefs challenged. If a person still believes what they claim to believe after someone challenges their ideas then it is a belief. However, if someone can make a person change their beliefs by simply posing an alternative view then was it truly a sound belief to begin with?
Natalie, I think it could be a sound belief. Someone can have a belief, have it challenged, then change what they were originally thinking. They could have not much to go by because they were closed off from the real world while growing up or maybe they do not have as many experiences as someone else. That person could have very little perspectives to go by, also.
I identified an unknown word here and looked for the definition for better clearance of information being presented. Paradoxically: in a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory way
I prefer when people challenge me and make me explain my viewpoints. It makes me out more thought into what I am doing or believing. If someone can’t explain their side with facts and certainty, then they probably need to rethink why they have those thoughts.
I would like to point out the author’s wording in this particular sentence. She says “No one person…” as in, one singular person cannot give us the answers, but it is possible that many people working together could. Their ideas and experiences together might create a solution that is beneficial to all, not just some, or even one.
I feel like this is the reason that teachers always push on group projects. But before we all come together, I feel it is important to at least attempt to come up with an answer on your own. That way, when the group comes together, there is a starting point.
I’ve been thinking alot about flexible grouping and what this looks like. Some might look at it like “jigsaw” arrangements. But, I am really thinking about when a group needs to separate and then come back together. Group dynamics are fascinating. Especially in the classroom.
To have all the answers to the universe is impossible because no one can gather that much information in just a lifetime.
These essays are all about everyone getting along, but we know that is impossible. It is ideal, but it is unrealistic.
A person not being able to obtain all the information in the universe is the reason for why we now have so much information at our finger tips. This is due to the fact that the generations before us recorded their experiences and their knowledge in order for it to be passed down. By passing it down, they have allowed us to become educated in new topics.
When we talk about not knowing something, many people are not willing to admit they do not know something. I feel society has put this feeling out that if we do not know something we are “dumb” and do not know anything. This is not true because not knowing can lead to us discovering more information from us trying to know the answer. People need to get rid of the idea that just because we do not know something means we are “dumb.”
I feel like the expectation to have an answer ready often makes a conversation frustrating. Something I have come to terms with however is admitting that I don’t know. It is a whole lot easier than making it up on the spot or fretting until you have an answer.
I once had a professor who, if a student said they did not know something, would respond with, “When will you know?” It was almost as if he would suspend the question to another time when the student might have researched or thought about the answer. Questions often have answers. By their very nature. Good questions have necessary incubation periods.
Probably the largest step to learning is breaking from the familiar. Taking a step back from what we know as the most comfortable will allow optimal growth and development.
Seeing as most students use the same studying habits every time that they are trying to learn new information, is it really true that we need to remove being comfortable in order to learn?
Good question. I think the largest step to learning is experience and repetition. But even with that, that doesn’t mean what I’m learning is right or even “write”. Breaking away from what’s familiar forces you to learn and understand things at a different approach. What Karis and Wheatley are saying is that they think taking these new approaches are what is going to evoke more change and more understanding (for the better of course). So, no, you don’t have to be uncomfortable in order to learn, but you do in order to understand more and change for the better. Actually I can testify to what Karis and Wheatley are saying; I get that it may be different for everybody though, but I’ve personally found it to be the right/write answer.
Here I thought the “admitting you don’t know” part applied only to certain things. As students, we probably admit that we don’t know something all the time. The difference between that unknowing and the one she’s talking about is being at risk of something—usually embarrassment, or being judged. So, you could see why it’s got to be frustrating to admit you don’t know only for humility to be your answer. There’s a saying I just thought of too: “would you rather be ignorant for a moment or remain a fool for life?” So, I’ll take Margaret Wheatley’s side on this subject, but I do think it is neaive.
In his well-known (one of the more highly viewed TED talks or YouTube videos in the category of thought sharing), Robbins reduces the reasons we do things to six items. The first of these items is “certainty.” More interesting is that his second item is “uncertainty.”
https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_why_we_do_what_we_do?language=en
There is some language in the TED talk. Advisory here. An appearance by Al Gore within the presentation makes a historic timestamp.
This is not exactly the same, but it reminds me of the first chapter of our textbook, “Thinking about Literature.” The “many-Mindedness” section tells us to become comfortable with ambiguity and contradiction, and to listen to others, particularly when interpretation differs from our own. (11)
I never would have thought of trying to relate the textbook to this essay. This quote fits perfectly with the theme of this essay. It is also interesting that a textbook we are learning from even tells us how we will truly begin to learn.
We weren’t trained to admit we don’t know. Most of us were taught to sound certain and confident, to state our opinion as if it were true. We haven’t been rewarded for being confused. Or for asking more questions rather than giving quick answers. We’ve also spent many years listening to others mainly to determine whether we agree with them or not. We don't have time or interest to sit and listen to those who think differently than we do.
I thought these sentences were dead on. I can distinctively remember the times I’d get candy for getting an answer correct or knowing my vocab in Mrs. Prout’s class. Never once was I rewarded for getting the wrong answer, instead if I wasn’t certain I was right I’d go mute. It was never rewarding to be the kid who couldn’t do the f(x) assignments or recite O Captain.
I started sending a fact a day and called this “series” “Fun Facts with Grahm”. I take suggestions for categories almost everyday, so my audience learns something new everyday while also at least seeming interested. I don’t know exactly what this could add for students, but maybe teachers/parents/advisors could take some consideration as to what the students want to learn. I know teachers have a certain curriculum they have to teach, but why not get a student’s perspective on the direction of the class? I know teachers that do this, and typically they are more liked and inclined to get responses and questions from students because they are more engaged.
In his TED talk, Clint Smith speaks of four core principles in his classroom: two of these are Speak Clearly and Tell Your Truth.
https://www.ted.com/talks/clint_smith_the_danger_of_silence/transcript?language=en
A trait of extroversion is natural confidence – A reason for being perceived as more worthy in the workplace and classroom setting.
This is a phrase I have been told a lot in life. I do find it to be true, if I am ever asked a question I do not know the answer to and I reply back acting as if I am 100 percent certain what I am saying it true then nine times out of ten people believe me. While this may be a good tacit, if it is used in the manner to avoid admitting confusion it can be hurtful. A lot of times I use it in a joking manner or in a situation of little importance, however if I used this to justify everything I did and believe and never accepted being wrong, I would never learn and thus be stuck.
Our opinions are our opinions. Everyone’s opinion is a true opinion because there is no such thing as a false or wrong opinion so then why should be have to be taught to state our opinions as true if they always are?
Ever since I could remember being in school, I have always been scared to raise my hand or speak up out of fear that my answer or statement could potentially be wrong and others would have different views that criticize my own.
I agree with Jocelyn, I’ve never been one to raise my hand, I always thought if I said the wrong answer, other students would laugh. The worst part was if you didn’t raise your hand often it meant that you weren’t paying attention, your name would get called more than usual.
Wow. We know this too. All of us do. The teacher included. But, who shuts it down? Who lets it air out? When does the lead learner stop addressing in the moment what has happened? I think the technology and online annotation DOES provide us all an opportunity to have our voice in the space. Now, it is time for a reclaimation act in the physical space.
I definitely understand the feeling of being afraid or ashamed to raise my hand and expose that I am uncertain about something I am learning. We have always been taught that there is shame in not knowing.
I totally agree with this. I have felt this was forever for the fear the teacher or my peers will think I’m not smart or good enough if I get the answer wrong. Even if I get called on and I do get the answer right, I still feel as though it wasn’t what they were really wanting.
I used to do this all the time in school. I was the worst with it in middle school, but I feel high school has changed this for me. Questions are not only accepted, but encouraged.
I agree with everyone’s views and statements. I too have fallen victim to staying quiet when teachers ask questions. Many times it is because I am scared of what others think, and because I feel like I’ve disappointed the teachers when I answer wrong. What I hate even more than answering wrong is asking questions. I don’t know what it is, but when nobody else asks questions I feel stupid.
I know that some people are scared to ask questions, especially when provoked because of fear. I can admit I am the same way in the classroom setting, but never really outside of that. At home or gatherings of really any sort, I have always been able and encouraged to ask questions. And with those questions come rewards: knowledge, sometimes something physical like candy, or even a provoking thought.
I agree that asking questions in school can be tough. Some teachers help relieve this fear by saying things like" there are no dumb questions", the fear of looking silly often clouds these words of encouragement. Along with this outside of school I have been encouraged to ask questions, and “learn something new today” perhaps this may come from being in the same family.
I feel that a lot of students may feel annoying asking questions after questions just because they do not get the material. I know someone who did not get a certain math class and the teacher ended up getting annoyed of them. And it was because they simply were confused. Have we ever been rewarded? What was the reward?
Most people are so confident in their own opinion that they dont take other peoples opinions into consideration. We cause arguments because we “dont agree”. we should let out opinions be challenged by others thoughts.
Everyone wants to believe they are correct, but never verify that. Talking with others who have differing views can help us challenge our beliefs and maybe help us learn and see things in a new light.
This paper was written in January 2002. A whole year before I was born, and the sad part of this observation is that things haven’t changed. In my opinion our divide has only grown with the events that took place in 2020. Back when Margaret Wheatley was writing this, she basically begged society to start listening to each other. She asked us to think about what others said and actually contemplate their opinion. I personally feel as if we have failed Margaret Wheatley some way. Sure we attempted to come together to fight COVID-19, but in the end we failed to fix the problem together. Think back to what Margaret Wheatley seemed to ask of us back in 2002. Now think about how we have ultimately failed to do this.
But the world now is quite perplexing. We no longer live in those sweet, slow days when life felt predictable, when we actually knew what to do next.We live in a complex world, we often don’t know what’s going on, and we won’t be able to understand its complexity unless we spend more time in not knowing.
This is not true for me any longer. Being in Mr.Hankins’ class has taught me that there sort of is no wrong answer. Having more questions than answers is a good thing. If you have no questions, how can you learn? If you know all the answers, what are you learning?
I think this really hit home for me just because I work a job nearly every single day now and I find that my schedule is not a free as it once was when I was growing up. I have also come to enjoy the much simpler things in life rather than just trying to rush through them now.
I would like to reiterate that this article was written in 2002. What might the author think of the world now? What might they think about the state of our nation? The world has gotten much bigger and much more accessible than it was then.
Society is still quite perplexing.As Makenzie mention this was written in 2002 but we have to remember that history does repeat itself and when has it stopped? I think we could take some advice from here and apply it to our society and see if it will do any good.
As I was reading this sentence, I immediately thought of January 6, 2021 and what the author would have thought about those actions. The world and society is very perplexing and it clearly hasn’t changed much since 2000.
I cannot help but wonder in a general sense when the sentiment that the world was knowable ended. What ended it? Did it ever truly exist?
The first thought I am sure most have when reading this sentence is the events of 2020 and 2021. But the world was perplexing before 2020. The events that have happened are extreme and frightening, but not entirely new. But now we can see how the events of the past year are effecting not only our community, but the world around us. And this can bring out the best in some or the worst. Is the world perplexing or are the people on this earth perplexing?
I think this last sentence has held through the challenges of time. We live in a world FULL of the unknown. Despite this, people have worked together to make solutions. We have adapted, and the longer we spend in the unknown the more we can learn about our world and each other.
Makenzie, speaking of a world full of the unknown, we never knew we would be experiencing almost half of our high school years through a global pandemic. We are currently adapting in the moment with online school and wearing masks when we are around other people.
Using the words “not knowing” at the end of the paragraph sent the wrong message to me. As I read, it seemed as though this sentence was trying to say that we need to spend less time researching new concepts and trying to find solutions, and more time just being complacent with not knowing. While it is okay to not know, there should always be a drive to find out and understand. I feel that this sentence almost goes against what the whole piece was trying to get across.
I feel like this sentence is even more true today than it was back when this essay was published. Everyday it seems like there is something new and unpredictable happening that we did not see.
I feel like every time you turn around nowadays something crazy or unpredictable is happening on the news or out in the wold that we would have thought would have never happened in the past. I think Covid changed my perspective on this a lot though.
It is very difficult to give up our certainties—our positions, our beliefs, our explanations. These help define us; they lie at the heart of our personal identity. Yet I believe we will succeed in changing this world only if we can think and work together in new ways. Curiosity is what we need. We don't have to let go of what we believe, but we do need to be curious about what someone else believes. We do need to acknowledge that their way of interpreting the world might be essential to our survival.
As much as Wheatley presents the idea of confusion, curiosity, and change as a catalyst for change, here she suggests that we DON’T have to change. Our beliefs “lie at the heart of our personal identity.”
Looking at this question it uncovers a lot of feelings and emotions. There are many things in this world that define us. Some of those things include race, gender, and religion. These things define us to others, but what defines yourself to you? What are you all about?
When I hear we can only accomplish changing the world by working and thinking together it saddens me. In today’s society, we are very divided just because someone thinks differently than them. I cannot imagine a world where everyone comes together for a better future and world all together.
I certainly agree. I hate to see our world so divided when it’s evident being together is what we need to succeed. I hope in the future society can come together to fix this.
Collaboration promotes curiosity and urge to learn more. Taking what we learn from others in addition to our own thoughts promotes the well-being of the whole community.
Here, we see Wheatley tell us that confusion is okay and not okay in a sense. We really want to hold on to what we see as true, our certainties, because that is our identity. But then, Wheatley reveals that she thinks the way to succeed in changing the world is to challenge those beliefs. Do you think this way because it is what you were thaught, or do you think this way because you chose to do so? We need a sense of curiosity or wonder, just to inspire change… then we need to think about a different perspetive and how it will impact them.
I would like to believe everyone wants what is best for the world and wants to have a good life. However, it is a matter of what they believe will get the world to that point. There is a lot of evil that occurs and a lot of evil people who try to gain control, but it would also do some good to look in their perspectives. They want the control to change something that makes them unhappy, and they believe living in another way is what is best for society. For the most part, just because someone does not understand or agree with something, does not mean it is wrong or bad. Different countries live in a variety of unique ways; however, that does not mean we have to agree with it
Getting to know someone else different opinions and perspectives is key in order to have an opinion on your own.
I agree , knowing someone’s thoughts and beliefs will help you decipher how and why they act. Helping form your own opinions
Wheatley changes her word choice from confusion to curiosity. This is to help the reader accept the “unknown”. At first she uses confusion to help readers understand that not everything has an answer, then she uses curiosity to provide a way for readers to find the answer.
If people today were more open to understanding others beliefs the world would be a much more peaceful place. Just like how the willingness to understand another is what separates a argument from a debate, this can also be true in the real world.
Many things today have been deemed essential, but have we considered that people are essential? Our unique views and beliefs throughout time have allowed s to adapt and survive. Acknowledging. Listening. Understanding one another is still what will allow us to survive. You, me; we are what is essential for all our survival.
We live in a dense and tangled global system. Because we live in different parts of this complexity, and because no two people are physically identical,we each experience life differently. It’s impossible for any two people to ever see things exactly the same. You can test this out for yourself. Take any event that you’ve shared with others (a speech, a movie, a current event,a major problem) and ask your colleagues and friends to describe their interpretation of that event. I think you’ll be amazed at how many different explanations you’ll hear. Once you get a sense of diversity, try asking even more colleagues. You’ll end up with a rich tapestry of interpretations that are much more interesting than any single one.
Does what we believe begin in the micro and move out to meso and macro if it even goes that far? What shift occurs in moving to macro to meso to micro? We remember, too, that many of us have not learned about PSYCHOLOGICAL Mindset/Frame as a element of setting (because we learned about place and time).
When I hear things in this context, social norms feel like such a far fetched concept. I remember talking about houses and how they have changed. Once they were more boxed in, but now the stress is on openness. I was wondering when that changed, and whether people recognize those changes in society. Or do we just sort of go with the flow? Is anyone leading anyone? Or is it just chaos with a thin veil known as cultural normality?
Wheatley explains how no two people share the same identities. Everyone is their own unique person and this is the source for varying ideas. Wheatley explains that we experience life differently and this allows for everyone thoughts to contradict another’s thoughts and lead us to a new way of interpreting and analyzing events.
It is still crazy personally that every day when I drive home from school or go to work, I am driving past people I’ll more than likely never meet these people and they are leading the same complex lives such as mine.
It does not matter how physically similar we are. We all have different family, experiences, trauma, mindsets, and we were all raised differently. We can never accurately debate how valid someone’s response to something is because all we know is how we would respond. We never know how someone else is wired based on their past, present, and future.
That is going to happen no matter where you are in the world and that okay. But its how we treat people with different beliefs than us that is not okay.
If I met someone that had been the exact places as me, we would have hundreds of different stories to tell that the other did not have. We would not love the same places or have the same favorites. We may prefer a different trip than another. Everyone leads different lives and has different memories.
When reading this, it brought be back to 2017 when many were seeing a dress in a different perspective than others. Many saw it as a white and gold, but many also saw it as a black and blue dress. We will never see something the same as someone else will.
Bringing this essay to the young people who may or may not have relationships yet with “colleagues.” The work can happen in our classrooms too.
At work, one of my favorites things to do is watch how differently everyone works. Every single person had their individual way of prepping our food. I am not sure why, but it is fascinating to me.
I feel like people tend to hangout more with people that like the same things that they do and that tend to see things the same way. So, with that said, even though this sounds like an excellent idea on paper, I do not think that it would really work out well in reality.
I think people would be amazed at everyone else’s different explanations however that is assuming people will being willing to hear those explanations. We must first be willing to let go of our certainty and listen.
I’ve had to ask around in attempt to resolve issues before, and at times, I found I would be angered by other people “misinterpreting” the events. In retrospect, this in its self is problematic. By doing this, no one is allowed to have a differing perspective, and the only correct answer becomes my own, which is not right.
This plays off the idea that Mr. Hankins states all the time! “No matter how thin you make a pancake there is always going to be two sides.” Its crazy how even the same exact event can provoke such different emotions in different people. A speech may be easy as pie for one student and an awful, anxiety inducing one for someone else.
Sometimes people forget to think of other people’s point of view. If we put ourselves in other people’s shoes, it may resolve any misunderstandings or problems
People who are more diverse are more knowledgeable about the world and society. If someone has never explored and witnessed different ways of living, they are more prone to being stubborn and thinking their way is the only way. I will admit that I do not know a lot about the world; however, from traveling to Europe, South America, Mexico, Canada, etc, I have been able to witness different ways of living. Due to this I am a better appreciation for my life and know that ways of growing up affect individuals’ views.
To be curious about how someone else interprets things, we have to be willing to admit that we’re not capable of figuring things out alone. If our solutions don’t work as well as we want them to, if our explanations of why something happened don’t feel sufficient, it’s time to begin asking others about what they see and think. When so many interpretations are available, I
I like the last sentence in this paragraph. It is so important to explore different perspectives and question what we know. Hearing what others think and believe helps us reconsider our own values and see things a little clearer.
Yes, sometimes “we’re not capable of figuring things out alone.” Maybe it is because we have never experienced the thing in question or maybe we have always been on the wrong side of the situation. Either way, a new perspective can make everything clearer.
Seeing from other people’s view can help solve arguments and fights. When my friends and I are upset with one another, I try looking at it from their perspectives. If someone does not realize they hurt another person’s feelings, it is important to back track and realize what they said or did to make someone hurt. In their own view they may not think it was something that should have caused harm; however, what matters is that it did cause a person to be upset.
Elizabeth, I agree it is very important to try and see things from another person’s point of view. This is especially true when you are having an argument or discussion and no one can seem to agree.
can’t understand why we would be satisfied with superficial conversations where we pretend to agree with one another.
“Hey, how’s it going?” “Great, thanks. You?” “I’m fine!” regular conversation right? Has a connection just occurred, or been blocked? We’re following a convention but hidden our experiences. Maybe because it’s safer, or it’s the scrip; we are “supposed to” stay on the surface so we do.
Fiorella, A lot of conversations are superficial with the goal of having no argumentation or problems.I agree it is easier to just agree and pretend everything said in conversation is certain. It is safer to agree than to bring up a different viewpoint.
I think, in our society, it is more traditional to have these superficial conversations just to avoid silence. If the topic of discussion becomes too deep, messy, or controversial, I find I either agree with the other person, give just enough push back to provide my perspective to allow them to rethink for a moment, or stay completely silent. Like previously mentioned, we are almost following a script to avoid problems later.
SO many people are scared to speak their mind for fear of losing friends. It look me nearly 18 years to realize that sometimes people don’t deserve your friendship. Sometimes its just better to let some people go, even if it hurts.
In past experiences with speaking political, religious, or any traditionally taboo topics, the person and I will actually try to hear the person’s side, but it feels like they don’t try to understand my side. This part just made me think of superficial conversation.
I feel as though I am sometimes afraid to express my opinion and I am not even talking politically in today’s world. We have these conversation with friends or just random people where we just go along with it. Whenever asked how you are you always just say fine, or I am living, or some superficial response. Almost nobody really wants to hear how you are doing and almost nobody responds back with actually I am not doing great.
There are many ways to sit and listen for the differences. Lately, I’ve been listening for what surprises me. What did I just hear that startled me? This isn’t easy – I’m accustomed to sitting there nodding my head to those saying things I agree with. But when I notice what surprises me, I’m able to see my own views more dearly, including my beliefs and assumptions.Noticing what surprises and disturbs me has been a very useful way to see invisible beliefs. If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. If what you say disturbs me, I must believe something contrary to you. My shock at your position exposes my own position. When I hear myself saying, “How could anyone believe something like that?” a light comes on for me to see my own beliefs. These moments are great gifts. If I can see my beliefs and assumptions, I can decide whether I still value them.
The author speaks about how she is able to see her own views by listening to others. Through reading this piece you can clearly get an idea that you should open up your ears, heart, and mind to others. Through opening yourself up you might find something about yourself that you didn’t even know about. It reminds me of when I give my mom massages and she says, “I didn’t know I hurt there until you started massaging there.” Listening to others is the same concept. You might not know you agree or disagree with someone or something until it is brought up. This truly shows that opening yourself up to others can help you find yourself.
When I get surprised or even challenge, my initial thoughts are usually anything along the lines of “what did they just say?” But taking some time to really understand what a person is saying is more beneficial than just blocking out differing opinions. Opposing views offer insight into other’s lives that may help us better understand later.
In her experience, she is explaining how she was so used to just nodding her head because everything she was hearing from another individual was going alongside her beliefs until shewould hear something shocking. When she hears something that shocks her, it gives her an opportunity to step back and look to see if that is one of her beliefs as well and it could turn into an invisible belief.When we are having conversations with other individuals, we need to really listen intently because we could discover an invisible belief we never knew were about of us.
Honestly, just about everyone does this. This is a very fundamental aspect of learning. The more I thought about this, I realized change does result in it. Pretty cool how we unconsciously place a value on our things, beliefs and assumptions, and how that value can change so quickly.
I hope you’ll begin a conversation, listening for what’s new. Listen as best you can for what’s different, for what surprises you. See if this practice helps you learn something new. Notice whether you develop a better relationship with the person you’re talking with. If you try this with several people, you might find yourself laughing in delight as you realize how many unique ways there are to be human.
This is something that allows my mother and I to have a good relationship. She is an extremely good parent because from many parents and adults I have observed, she is one of few that admits that she is wrong sometimes and will hear my side of things and actually apologize to me for her initial reaction. She does not just assume she is right because she is the parent and she was raised one way. She always listens to me and understands when things might need to be done differently and stray from what she knows.
I would have to agree that my mom is the same exact way. She is always willing to sit there and listen to my side of the story and hear what I have to say about it. She never automatically jumps to conclusions and doesn’t want to hear me out. She is always willing to discuss the situation with me and allow e to be heard. I feel like the parents of kids that don’t listen are struggling to be able to talk to others now. I feel like they don’t have anyone to really talk to. This is why listening to one another really helps everyone out. It is good to hear both sides of every story.
We have the opportunity many times a day, everyday, to be the one who listens to others, curious rather than certain. But the greatest benefit of all is that listening moves us closer. When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationships with each other. It’s not differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do. Curiosity and good listening bring us back together.
While many conversations happen all day long while we are at home, at school, or at work. . .how many happen without guidance or a direction that would be purposeful and move the participants in a direction? Who invites these conversations? Who encourages the work to happen? Who is at the table? Who is not?
I feel like the world we live in today many people are not sitting down and listening to one another and this is where conflict is coming into play. Conversations can be made purposeful just by having two engaging people talking about one subject. Although you have to be willing to listen every now and then. A lot of conversations go unheard because the person you are talking to is not listening and not engaged in the conversation. As mentioned as a question many go without guidance that could turn purposeful. Many conversations are mostly blabber but they would be turned into a meaningful conversation. Both people have to engage in this conversation in order for it to be invited and meaningful. Both participants or how many are engaged in the conversation have to have the willingness to sit down and listen and also be heard.
Fun fact, the humans average attention span is 8 seconds. Isn’t that crazy? We want to talk and have conversations with people all day, but can only listen 8 seconds at a time. I’d imagine that this contributes heavily to one’s ability to hold a meaningful conversation.
I would like to consider myself someone who listens to others and actually gets something out of the conversation. However, I know this is not the case for many people sadly. When some people listen to others it can make them angry or sad and they want to retaliate by saying hateful things. I feel as thought listening to others does not always bring us closer especially when it is about different points of views about a topic. I wish everyone would get over the fact that everyone is not going to agree with them and they would just listen and have a civil conversation. The world would be a much better of a place if more people did this.
Author Wheatley could not explain this any better. We, as humans, judge was too quickly and harshly which is what damages relationships between each other.
You are absolutely right. Most people don’t even let a conversation start before an opinion on them has been formed. This basically stops a relationship from even beginning to form.
Sometimes we hesitate to listen for differences because we don’t want to change. We’re comfortable with our lives, and if we listened to anyone who raised questions, we’d have to get engaged in changing things. If we don’t listen, things can stay as they are and we won’t have to expend any energy. But most of us do see things in our life or in the world that we would like to be different. If that’s true, we have to listen more, not less. And we have to be willing to move into the very uncomfortable place of uncertainty. We can’t be creative if we refuse to be confused. Change always starts with confusion; cherished interpretations must dissolve to make way for the new. Of course it’s scary to give up what we know, but the abyss is where newness lives. Great ideas and inventions miraculously appear in the space of not knowing. If we can move through the fear and enter the abyss, we are rewarded greatly. We rediscover we’re creative.
Change brings challenge. Sometimes, we as humans feel that we have enough challenge as it is. We prioritize, and most of the time change, even in only some aspects of our lives, are usually at the bottom of our list. If it doesn’t affect us, we are less likely to change it. Most people ask, “why would I go through the hardship if I cannot directly benefit?”
I agree with you, we often find ourselves purposely avoiding change because we know it will be a challenge. It can be hard to hear the difference in opinion or beliefs when talking to another individual, but sometimes that can be an open door or educating ourselves on their point of view.
Change is something in my life that challenges me. I am not a huge fan of it especially when it is a big change. I have one of these big changes coming up in my life soon, just like every senior. I have to decide what to do after high school and immerse from the grade school bubble I have been in since I was six. While I am excited for this change I am also extremely nervous and scared. This causes me to avoid talking or listening to conversations about it. I sometimes tell myself if I do not talk/hear about it I do not have to think about it or deal with it at the moment. Which is true, but it does not change the fact that it will happen in a few short months.
I to hate change. When we went into quarantine and my daily routine completely changed it freaked me out. It caused me to basically shut down. I have since gotten over that because we have gone back to school. But now I am dealing with the biggest change of our life. Like you said, I try to avoid conversations about anything related. Especially where scholarships are concerned, talking about them makes me panic just because all the due dates are coming up.
I have heard this fear of change be compared to jumping into a cold pool. Often we hesitate not because it will hurt, but because it is different. This fear of change is purely physical with the pool example however, we also often hesitate to change mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
People are terrible with change, this is a fact. We are afraid of it. We are so scared to leave behind a routine that we know so well. Change brings unknown which we dread. Fear of the unknown has lead to a lot… a LOT of issues, even issues as big as racism or homophobia all sprout from this overwhelming fear of the unknown.
When I got to this point in this article, I couldn’t help but to think about my next step in life. As seniors about to graduate, what will our life look like after high school? We seem comfortable where we are in life right now so we may not want to go out of our comfort zone. Change is good. Staying comfortable is also good, but what if changing and going out of our comfort zone is something we need as our next step?
If we want a better world we must stop and listen to what is wrong. Only then can we begin to understand the problem and find a way to fix it. Ignoring problems and wishing for a better world only works if you have a glass slipper and a fairy godmother.
I feel like throughout my life I have always been positioned in this place of uncertainty, always seeing both sides and being able to adapt my opinion. I guess what I have learned is not everything is exact. Everything depends on something else and everyone should be willing to see that not everything is black and white. Some things require continued thought and listening to other perspectives.
I know I am someone who hates being confused about something and try everything possible to become not confused. I am having a hard time grasping the thought that by being confused it can cause us to be creative. I feel as though being confused can lead us to doing the wrong things. I do not think the wrong things is what would be considered “creative” in this situation.
For myself at least, there can be a very real fear in beginning something new to myself or engaging someone in a realm of conversation in which I lack a great deal of knowledge. I fear that in a public setting confusion could simply be considered ignorance to the subject, and I at least can assume that ignorance will be met with unrest amongst the people that have been much more involved in the activity or topic at hand thus far. It is honestly quite relieving to hear that confusion breeds creativity.
I do not agree with this change can also be made because of conflict.
This principle was the fulcrum of my THIS project last year, where I asked that same question, and findings are interesting. There are studies that exist where people choose something that they know will be bad over something they do not know about, simply because they fear that lack of knowledge more than something negative they know about. It is a difficult challenge being called onto us, but a rewarding one.
As the world grows more strange and puzzling and difficult, I don’t believe most of us want to keep struggling through it alone, I can’t know what to do from my own narrow perspective. I know I need a better understanding of what’s going on. I want to sit down with you and talk about all the frightening and hopeful things I observe, and listen to what frightens you and gives you hope. I need new ideas and solutions for the problems I care about. I know I need to talk to you to discover those. I need to learn to value your perspective, and I want you to
No one should be alone through their adventure. They should be wanting people next to them in uncertain times. Willing to let others in and help them out. Not everyone wants to go through these things in their life alone, therefore listening to what others have to say may help you out in life. It might tell you a story that will help guide you in the right path. May help you realize what you want out of life. People are needing to express their beliefs, feelings, and thoughts to other people. Do you have someone you can share those things with? Do you listen to others? Are you willing to be there for someone who needs you the most?
I also agree no one should go through life alone. Especially in my life, it would be extremely difficult going through this without anyone. It is healthy to talk about your feelings and what you’re going through with others and when you’re alone, this would be difficult to do so.
I think this sentence is an important part of this article because it demonstrates just one example of how people can come together. By doing something like this, you can learn so much about another person which is what opens our minds or even can surprise us.
On the second page of this article starting with “can’t understand why we would be satisfied,” and ending with “and I want you to,” the word listen is used 11 times. I may have missed one or two but regardless this is a large number for one single action. The repetition of this word emphasizes the importance of this word and the gravity behind the action itself. One must listen to learn, to grow, and to become the best version of themselves.
value mine. I expect to be disturbed by what I hear from you. I know we don’t have to agree with each other in order to think well together. There is no need for us to be joined at the head. We are joined by our human hearts.
I like the idea that we can all be a team although we do not have the same ideas and beliefs. Afterall, I guess we all are just trying to have a good life.
It is important that while opening up your heart and mind, you keep yourself in mind. You can sometimes lose yourself when you get too caught up in what everybody else is thinking and feeling. You need to listen to others, but you need to remember to listen to yourself.
Throughout his text my main takeaway was that in order to hear someone out you must listen first. I think this is where we are going wrong in the world today. We are not hearing one another out and being there as a listener. We are all voicing our own opinions and they aren’t being hard because no one is willing to listen. No one is willing to sit there and not speak while someone else tells the story or something important that is needed to be heard. This is where we are running into uncertainties and problems. My mom has always told me to be a good listener and that it will get me many big places in my life. She has been right so far. Just by listening it has allowed me to decide what I want to do for my career. It has allowed me to figure things out on my own and to learn new things in this world we are living in. It also allows me to hear others out when they need to be heard and engage in conversation with them. LISTEN every once in awhile.
Do you think the world would be different if people just listened to one another?
Again, I think this sentence Mr. Hankins has said to us more times than I can count, “the smartest voice in the room is the room” of course we will not all think the same, that is why the sentence rings true. By thinking together and hearing each others opinions we can come to the best solution to any problem we face.
I appreciate this statement because I think it talks about how we should all be unique and different, all expressing our own individuality, but to all love eachother as equal because the same red blood is shared by every single one of us.
This is a compelling point to complete Wheatley’s thoughts here. It is a sort of invitation that would be easily written off as too soft, too sentimental. Not possible right now. If we believe that “Love wins. Love always wins,” we might better reconcile the seat. . .the heart. . .of love.
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Disturb Me, Please!
Before going any further into this article I had to laugh upon reading this. In my family one cannot go more than 10 minutes without being disturbed, except for in the middle of the night. (In some cases it still happens) While is is annoying at time and can drive us all insane, I find myself feeling very weird if it doesn’t happen. When nobody comes into my room to talk or my dad isn’t running down the hallway acting like a goof life doesn’t seem right. As much as it can annoy me I find myself wanting to be disturbed when it isn’t happening.
The Works: Your Source to Being Fully Alive, Summer 2000
If we are people exploring the unknown, if we are to be the pioneers and discoverers of the new world, then I'd like us to notice the presence of some essential but unusual companions. One of our greatest friends on this journey of discovery is a very strange ally--disturbance. It feels important to me to highlight disturbance's role as a friend because I have come to see certainty as a curse. This was not a realization that came easily to me. I, like most of you, was raised in the traditions of Western schooling. Knowing the right answer was always rewarded. Intelligence was equated with how well I did on tests, and most tests were about knowing the right answer. Later, as a leader, I was promoted for my certainty-I had the vision, I knew how to get there, and people would follow me based on how well I radiated that certainty, how well I disguised my fears.
Disturbance has always seemed like a negative word to me. It seems possible to view it as “How does this affect me?” or “What surprises me about this?,” rather than fretting about it.
When I started reading this essay I was confused why she would use disturbance in this context, but she made it make sense. It does not have to be used in a negative way.
Written in 2000, some three or four years before many of you were born, I think this is a sort of call to YOU. My generation seems to have stabilized. Watch our leadership in our country right now. There is a sort of “agedness” about what is holding power and holding sway over both discourse and direction of our Democracy. But, there is a new energy coming from a younger crowd now. It will be interesting to see where this. . .leads.
Looking at disturbance it might make you feel uncomfortable but that is a good thing. As Kristin Lohr says, “Growth is uncomfortable because you’ve never been here before- you’ve never been this version of you.” This only proves that disturbance is a good thing because you grow from being uncomfortable and pushing yourself. We all need a little more disturbance in our lives.
Last year I was rather interested in why people enjoy things that traditionally would be horrifying. Essentially, the takeaway was that people enjoyed feeling the rush of a new experience. That instills some hope for myself that there is a very real chance this could become more of a status quo amongst the general population.
Disturbance plays an important role in society. Disturbance brings the uncomfortable to the table to it can be improved. Disturbance is what allows for progress to be made. If humans forever stuck to what they knew, mindsets forever undisturbed how many events in history would not have happened. Anything new, unpopular, or uncomfortable at the time would have went unchanged and unspoken.
Part of me agrees with this sentence but part of me totally does not. I believe that disturbance can be ones bestfriend and what gets them to success. I also believe that disturbance has been the fall of many.Therefore disturbance can be your best friend depending on how you handle it.
I love how disturbance is referred to as a friend. I’ve never been challenged sitting in my bed eating and watching Netflix. You’ll never be pushed to become better if your always comfortable. Outside of your comfort zone is where you learn the most about yourself and others.
I never thought disturbance would be referred to as a friend and I think this is a concept many of us would have a hard time grasping. I think of people or my dog as being my friend but not disturbance. I think going out of our comfort zone and being disturbed can be a good thing but I know other people would not agree.
This is why I love being in the gym so much, it is hard so I can feel myself being challenged and there for getting stronger. Not only physically but mentally, you forget how to quit.
This is where I think conversation should come into play. We are so used to being surrounded by people with similar beliefs, that we never get to experience this uncomfortable zone. We need to be able to talk about things that we don’t see as normal or right to be able to grow and handle these disturbances.
After all of the new things I have tried this year, I would definitely say that disturbance is my friend. I have made so many more memories this year in which I had to push myself out of my comfort zone than without being outside my comfort zone. For the rest of my life I hope to continue testing my limits.
What is a disturbance? Where is the line between a disturbance and things being as they are? It’s defined as “having it’s normal function disrupted.” You can’t exactly predict it. I’m sure there are many people out there who forget that from time to time. So looking back to last March, we could say COVID is a disturbance. Getting homework on a Friday isn’t a disturbance.
Although, it is a little surprising to me that Wheatley see’s certainty as a curse… but I’d understand that too much of anything can be a bad thing. To me it sounds like “certainty as a curse” brings a lot of paranoia and superstition.
Life is a cruel professor. It gives you the test first and the lesson later (if you are still here to attend to it when it is clarified).
We can tie this new test to the first Essay. We get some comfortable with our lives that change is scary. As we get closer and closer to the end of the year this change gets scarier and scarier. I am about to have to part ways with many of the friends and teachers I have been with for years. I have never been to a school outside of Silver Creek, my family roots run deep within the community, parting ways with this is something I think I am far from prepared for.
For the longest time I’ve always felt like testing does not measure one’s intelligence. It should more be measured on what you’re strong at rather than measuring you in your weaknesses. I understand testing is important so teachers know you’re paying attention, but I think testing should not effect your grades the way it does.
I agree with you completely. If people want to pretend that testing is a good example of academic ability, they should all be weighted the same. If my tests are 80% of my Calculus class and 40% of my Biology class, what does that say about me when my report card comes out?
Sarah, I feel the same way. I am good at math, but there have been countless occasions where I did not get as good of a grade as I was expecting. I end up getting upset over the grade, especially if that test weighs a lot in my class. It may look bad on my report card, but it does not mean I am not smart enough. It just happened to be something I was not the strongest at.
I could not agree more. It seems like adults judge a student’s intelligence based on test scores and report cards. That is all from an academic setting. Maybe that kid cannot focus in class or does not care to listen, but they could be amazing at other things outside of school. Grades should not be a way of measuring intelligence!!
Growing up I would measure my success by the letter I saw on my report card or the one circled on the top of my paper. Over the past two year I have learned that while the letter can be important, it is not a good way to define success. I now define my success from what I actually learned and what I gained from an experience. When reading articles and books for classes I no longer strive to simply finish them but rather to understand them and gain something from them. If one simply reads a book to get a good grade but then forget all about it than was there any purpose for reading the book? If one reads a book and learns a great number of lessons but does no
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